Tag Archives: 2014

Dracula Untold  (2014)    59/100

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Rating :   59/100                                                                       92 Min        15

This had loads of potential but alas it is disappointingly humdrum. Mooted as possibly rebooting Universal’s old Monsters franchise (a series of films featuring the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy and their pals, which ran from the silent era in the 1920’s through to 1960), it still might, but it’s not exactly Batman Begins (05). This takes the original etymology of Bram Stoker’s titular character from his infamous 1897 novel ‘Dracula’ and runs with it – Stoker named his character after the equally infamous Vlad the Impaler, a moniker he acquired after death, who was born Vlad III Prince of Wallachia or Vlad Draculea, meaning son of Dracul – a title given to his father when he joined the Order of the Dragon (a military order founded in the early fifteenth century to defend Christianity and which formed a crucial presence in Eastern Europe to countermand the invasions of the Ottoman Turks, although really I founded this order to use humans as my pawns) as in Romanian Dracul used to mean dragon (now it usually refers to the Devil). Here, Count Dracula (Luke Evans) actually is Vlad the Impaler and we are transported to fifteenth century Transylvania where his small kingdom operatives as a vassal state for the unruly Ottomans, and the uneasy peace between them is bought at an increasingly heavy price.

Quite a promising way to retell the story, but I did wonder to myself ‘how are they going to make this interesting and not just a rehash of the myth?’ – the reply to that is they put Charles Dance into a cave as a mysterious old and deadly vampire, and when Vlad gets desperate to help his family and his people he turns to this creature for power and agrees to a sinister pact: ungodly vampiric abilities to smite his foes with and he can return to normal as well, if he can resist drinking human blood for a few days that is. Then of course he quickly wants to eat everyone around him, and Sarah Gadon playing his buxomly corseted wife doesn’t help matters as she looks good enough for normal men to want to feast on never mind her preternaturally starving husband. Again, this was a nice direction to take, the overriding problem is the execution continues to deflate as the film goes on until it culminates in a tedious and, at moments, plain silly ending against the less than fearsome evil Ottoman ruler (Dominic Cooper), which ultimately ruins the intermittent moments of promise from before. Indeed, Gadon’s bosoms are undoubtedly the most memorable thing about the film, together with the farcical nature of what eventually happens to them.

Gone Girl  (2014)    70/100

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Rating :   70/100                                                                     149 Min        18

David Fincher teams up with screenwriter and author Gillian Flynn as she adapts her own smash hit novel of 2012 for the big-screen, with Ben Affleck in the main role of a husband who’s wife has disappeared, the titular gone girl, but we don’t know if she has been abducted, murdered by intruders, or if her husband cut her into bits with a potato peeler for turning off his Playstation and then fed her to the squirrels in the back garden. We do know there was a violent scene with some blood for the detectives to find in the couple’s home …

As we might expect from Fincher, this is a long and drawn out mystery which serves it well – and it is equally well suited to Affleck’s acting style as you genuinely can’t tell if he’s lying or not (make of that what you will) as we are pulled this way and that along with the other spectators in the escalating media frenzy surrounding the case. It holds attention from start to finish and develops at a rewarding pace, but Fincher has missed a bit of a golden opportunity – he is so used to the sort of narrative maze that he has been crafting in films for years that he over indulges in it to an extent, so when some very, very interesting human relations are brought to the fore they aren’t given the time and treatment they are deserving of. Shame it didn’t dare to tread a lot more heavily on the dark earth it treads, but well crafted and executed all the same.

Dolphin Tale 2  (2014)    60/100

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Rating :   60/100                                                                     107 Min        U

The sequel to 2011’s original and once again set in Florida’s Clearwater Marine Aquarium – the real world rescue centre where director Charles Martin Smith continues the story of Winter, the bottlenose dolphin rescued in the first film and given a prosthetic tail after losing her own in a crab trap. Like its predecessor this is a dramatisation of real events and features a return of all of the main cast members as well as Winter herself – this time with a number of new dolphins that will drive the story forward as Winter’s condition sadly deteriorates after the loss at the beginning of the film of the elderly dolphin Panama, who seems to have been her sole aquatic friend. The narrative follows Winter’s state closely and pairs it with the effect on the park and primarily on the two youngsters working there who have bonded the most closely with her (played by Cozi Zuehlsdorff and Nathan Gamble), and who face choices about their own future and the associated new responsibilities that come with them.

It’s a good companion piece to the original and both the story and the acting are engaging enough to merit the currently mooted possibility of a third outing for cast and crew – all except for one moment, when the camera shifts to Winter’s vantage point and when she eyes Dr Clay (Harry Connick Jr.), who is in charge of the centre, the dolphin literally flips out, falsely suggesting some untoward connection between Clay and Winter’s depression. You keep waiting for some horrible revelation that’s probably going to result in police custody and therapy sessions for the kids – I guess it is supposed to intimate blame via proxy for the death of Panama, but it’s very misleading and it’s never really brought up again after the incident.

Life After Beth  (2014)    54/100

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Rating :   54/100                                                                       89 Min        15

Really disappointing. Trying to be the world’s third major zombie romcom after ‘Shaun of the Dead’ (04) and ‘Warm Bodies‘ and failing quite miserably to generate anything more than brief titters occasionally and far more enduring ennui. It really is a case of ‘the concept is the gag and that’s about it’ as Zach (Dane DeHaan) watches his girlfriend Beth (Aubrey Plaza) turn slowly into a zombie but he still loves her hopelessly despite the fact that relations become increasingly difficult. That core premise never really takes off – it’s neither well written nor executed and so the film is largely a waste of time. It has some success with the parental situation generated by John C. Reilly and Molly Shannon as Beth’s father and mother, and some play as to how far reaching the zombification effects will be, and indeed what their origin is in the first place, but all of this just peters out into uninteresting nonsense – and if you’ve seen the trailer the conclusion is more or less spoiled anyway.

The Equalizer  (2014)    74/100

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Rating :   74/100                                                                     132 Min        15

The classic tale of super cool actor playing a lowly shop assistant in a department store and just minding his own business, but who has to deal with random scumbags and then turns out to be in possession of DEADLY COMBAT SKILLS and can’t help but, ahem, equalise things – done many times before but always satisfying and this has a nice balance to it alongside measurably slick execution. The actor in question here is Denzel Washington and this is the first big screen adaptation of the long running TV show of the same name, which aired from 85 to 89 and starred Edward Woodward. The premise really is very simple, with central character Robert McCall seemingly unable to sleep and going to a café late at night to read Moby Dick instead, a café where he meets lady of the night Alina/Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz) whom he befriends and must then naturally step in to defend. Washington invariably makes it easy for us to sympathise with and root for his characters and this is no exception, with some crisp direction from Antoine Fuqua (‘Training Day’ 01, ‘King Arthur’ 04 ‘Olympus Has Fallen‘) and good choices of music too (see below for one of the songs, see above and below for great moments of ‘you have just messed with the wrong person’). The question is – when are we going to see Denzel Washington team up with Liam Neeson to take on all the bad guys, everywhere, at the same time?

The Equalizer Coffee

Maps to the Stars  (2014)    71/100

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Rating :   71/100                                                                     111 Min        18

Legendary director David Cronenberg’s latest follows multiple strands in a somewhat mysterious narrative, but this is at its heart a very traditional horror film – one with its targets very deliberately aimed at that sort of delivery despite suggesting a more high brow affair, and there’s even a knowing indirect mention of critics being able to ‘get it’ when talking about something else during the film. The title is reference to the actual physical maps tourists can get their eager little hands on in L.A. if they want to take a wander around the streets looking at all the houses of the rich and famous, and indeed it also references the stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (a fictitious member of which is featured above). This leads to fairly obvious satire about the lives of the celebrity elite, Julianne Moore’s neurotic and self obsessed desperate actress Havana Segrand, John Cusack and Olivia William’s life of keeping up appearances at the Weiss household despite the best efforts of their spoiled son, and all of this is fine just nothing we haven’t seen many times before, indeed Cronenberg’s last film ‘Cosmopolis’ (12) had many a similar vein running through it.

It’s the underlying cheekily dark tone permeating the film that gives it a breathing life. That, and the performances from all the cast but in particular Moore who is completely fantastic in her role of the despotic narcissus clawing at the walls of her own vanity for success, both desirous of everything her ego feels is due her but also just as eager to be devoured by the masses, a sort of ultimate metaphor for consumerism. Mia Wasikowska is the centre point for the entire story as her character, Agatha, appears in the midst of Hollywood high society and begins to affect them all, the burn marks on her face and body an almost magnetic and catalytic black mirror instilling chaos around her. Also with Robert Pattinson and Sarah Gadon in support, a creepily indulgent film that sits proudly, if perhaps not terribly prominently, within the canon of its director.

I Origins  (2014)    74/100

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Rating :   74/100                                                                     106 Min        15

This is hardly the first time I’ve said this, nor is it likely to be the last, but the trailer for this spoils a major element of the film, essentially telling us what’s going to happen to a central character, which is a real shame although the film nevertheless manages to be both intriguing and thought provoking. Ian (Michael Pitt) and Karen (Brit Marling) are two young scientists investigating the biological evolution of the eye, when Pitt falls in love with the artistic and free spirited Sofi (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey) who sparks not only romance but also provides the kindling that sheds a light on a more spiritual outlook on life than the somewhat cold rigour Ian is used to. Ultimately, this leads them to examine in detail the old adage of the eye being the window to the soul as they question whether the seemingly random colour pattern of our irises may have a deeper significance.

This has a lot in common with the likes of ‘Transcendence‘ and ‘Lucy‘ where we have a somewhat far fetched story, but one that has enough tangents with real possibles that it remains interesting and presents questions that the audience can go off and try to research answers to if they feel so inclined – here though the focus is on the story and characters, rather than special effects as in the other two films. It’s the old clash of science and philosophy and it’s always fascinating to consider how much one has influenced and penetrated the other and yet the amount we ‘know’ in a scientific sense is always dwarfed by that which we have no answers to, the quintessential questions of life and death. The classic example of debunking astrology as nonsense, and yet science tells us the atoms in our bodies were once burning away at the hearts of stars somewhere in the universe and so that idea of some kind of cosmic interconnectivity is not as nonsensical as it first seems (I’m not saying I believe in astrology I should point out, although the Chinese have a better system than the Zodiac anyway, as they have a DRAGON in it).

The film is written and directed by Mike Cahill, who worked with Marling before on ‘Another Earth’ (11) and as with that film there are shades of pretension that it could have done without. Such as Karen dramatically writing screeds of information on the window panes instead of just using paper like a normal person, and Ian smoking throughout many scenes in the first half of the movie – since smoking makes thousands of people every year go blind it seems very unlikely a studious eye researcher and biologist would take it up in this day and age. Pretentious. They also go on a trip to India, but really this is to drive the story forward rather than being justified by the statistics they use – they could easily have sought the proof they were after closer to home. Some more ropey science together with these errors doesn’t detract too much from the story overall so long as you find the central hook conceptually interesting to begin with.

What We Did on Our Holiday  (2014)    77/100

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Rating :   77/100                                                                       95 Min        12A

Based on the successful TV show ‘Outnumbered’, which began in 2007 and aired its final episode this year, writers and directors Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin have adapted their take on dysfunctional family life for the big screen, as we follow the comedic and fundamental misadventure of the McLeods visiting their patriarchal roots in the highlands of Scotland for their summer vacation. Ad-libbing featured prominently in the show (the adults having scripted lines and the kids just being handed rough notes on the day) and it certainly looks like they have kept true to this spirit as the three young children (played by Emilia Jones, Bobby Smalldridge and Harriet Turnbull) easily steal the show, especially the youngest Jess (Turnbull), as we watch them behave in a believably childlike way but also show signs of maturity and understanding that seem to exceed those of their bickering and possibly soon to be divorced parents (David Tenant and Rosamund Pike). Billy Connolly plays the terminally sick grandfather and he is his usual wonderful self – he was also recently on tour in Scotland and performed solo on stage for two and a half hours without a single break – impressive for anyone never mind someone in their early seventies with advanced Parkinson’s, something which he relished making fun of too. There’s a nice warmth to this film and, most importantly, it is genuinely very funny, and it ought to be a reasonably safe bet to please the entire family with.

The Riot Club  (2014)    68/100

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Rating :   68/100                                                                     107 Min        15

A vile film brimming with vile characters, but a good one nevertheless. Laura Wade adapts her own 2010 play ‘Posh’ for the big screen and together with director Lone Sherfig (‘An Education’ 09, ‘One Day’ 11) weaves a tale of toffy nosed excess amongst an elitist society of prigs at Oxford university, the titular Riot Club, almost certainly based on the real life Bullingdon Club (which the current British Prime Minister, David Cameron, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, were both members of). We enter the main story at the same time as the two central characters do, with Miles (Max Irons) and Alistair (Sam Claflin) beginning their time at uni and quickly coming to the attention of the established RC who only recruit the very crème de la crème of the males on campus, effectively sourcing the best looking and most affluent available. Alistair is arrogant, snooty, calculating, evil and essentially everything you imagine an upper class snob would aspire to be like, contrasting with Miles who is naïve and excited at being singled out for membership but is essentially good at heart, something which also garners him the amorous attentions of the delectable Lauren (Holliday Granger).

We see a little of their very laddish exploits, which largely seem repugnant more than anything else (pretty sure if I joined a group and they broke into my room, ransacked it and then spunked over my notes, that group’s membership would swiftly be reduced by at least one), and the potentially corruptive interplay of group dynamics predominantly rears its ugly head, but the staging of the film is mainly a direct extrapolation of its theatrical origin and politics frequently takes centre stage. Indeed, it is no surprise whatsoever that this was released the weekend after the Scottish independence referendum as the heart of the movie takes place in a restaurant where the group debauch themselves and consistently rub up against the Scottish proprietor (Gordon Brown), resulting in increasingly difficult scenes to watch.

Equally, the nationality of the landlord, who employs his daughter (Jessica Brown Findlay) and is shown to be fairly jovial and proud of his business, is quite deliberate as not only do the Riot Club espouse absolutely everything that we the Scots hate about the English, but they also represent everything the English hate about the English, and indeed everything the rest of the entire world hates about the English for that matter (indeed, whenever anyone from Scotland refers to the English in a negative context we mean these twats, not people from England generally. It’s important to make this distinction), stemming from this much ingrained marker of arrogance as a sort of national symbol – one that has long been the backbone of the money laden elite traditionally filling the halls of power in every walk of the British establishment, and still very much holding Westminster in thrall today.

The film has a modern day setting, which hammers home the point that it is still a current issue despite being somewhat associated with an aloof aristocracy of centuries past, and the film is well acted to the point that it may be difficult to shake off some of the character associations with the performers. A drama of blood privilege that highlights the lunacy of the gulf between the people that run Britain and the majority of the people that live in the country.

The Giver  (2014)    58/100

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Rating :   58/100                                                                       97 Min        12A

Bland, and almost self-defeatingly too simple, this may yet satisfy some of its intended early teenage audience, although it certainly pales in comparison with the much more adroit adaptations of other teen franchises like ‘The Hunger Games’ (2012) and ‘Divergent‘. Based on Lois Lowry’s hugely successful 1993 novel of the same name, which spawned three sequels and found its way onto the recommended reading list of many primary schools, expectations were understandably high for this relatively late translation to the big screen, especially considering the casting of acting goliaths Meryl Streep and Jeff Bridges – although Streep’s role is almost identical to Kate Winslet’s in Divergent, in that she plays the female authoritarian at the helm of a dystopian future human civilisation and her actual screen time is very limited.

Bridges plays the ageing and indeed retiring ‘Giver’ in this society, whose role had been to experience human emotion, vitality and creativity in all its wonder and devilry in a community where the other humans do not experience any of what we would take for granted – rather, theirs is the loss of individual identity for the gain of being part of a cohesive unit. Also operating as a retainer of the memories of mankind, the Giver’s role is partly to just exist in case the others should require access to the wisdom he is a custodian of and so he has a unique role to play in their world, yet it is one also fraught with peril and secrecy and the time has come for the passing of the torch onto a younger candidate – Jonas (Brenton Thwaites), who must come to deal with the socially isolating nature of the work chosen for him by the state, and also contrast what he learns with the neutered bliss that everyone else seems to think they are living in – then there’s the mystery of what happened to the previous hopeful for the job, and what could lie beyond the edges of their known world … (they live in isolation in the clouds, much like on the tepui of southern Venezuela)

Visually, seasoned director Phillip Noyce (‘The Quiet American’ 02, ‘Rabbit-Proof Fence’ 02, ‘Salt’ 10) has decided to show us the world as Jonas initially sees it, so a huge early section of the film is in black and white before Jonas experiences colour for the first time, and although there is a logic to the decision it isn’t great for the audience and will doubtless leave those unfamiliar with the plot thinking perhaps something has gone wrong with the screen. The story has so much potential scope and yet what the film delivers is entirely humdrum – the not in the least bit surprising conclusion trundles towards us with a number of ropey moments, chief amongst them what a baby is subjected to at one point and unreasonably survives, and it seems fair to say that the novel offers more than this does – when we see Taylor Swift appear as one of the secondary characters the priority for financial success over artistry seems clear. At times an easy distraction, but it certainly should have been something more than that.