Hobo with a Shotgun  (2011)    79/100

Rating :   79/100                                                                       86 Min        18

What a great ‘splatterhouse’ film. This, like ‘Machete’ (10), began as a trailer for a movie that didn’t exist, shown during the ‘Grindhouse’ (07) double bill of Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Planet Terror’ and Quentin Tarantino’s ‘Death Proof’ (filmmakers Jason Eisener, John Davies, and Rob Cotterill, based in Canada, won an international competition to secure their trailer in the slot) . Rutger Hauer brings the titular Hobo to life, traveling into a town where all notions of law and order have been torn to shreds, and life is effectively dictated by the whims of the ruling drug lord’s family, which, naturally, our (anti) hero will take exception to. A film whose entire premise is encapsulated by the title, and at the same time we can’t wait for the Hobo to pick up his shotgun and start kicking some ass – and really, who better to do it than Hauer?

This is a bloody, bloody film, but it is highly enjoyable. Some of the scenes have been heavily colourised, to the extent that they are effectively completely blue or orangey yellow – it’s terrible, and yet it somehow works for this film! Directed by Jason Eisener, it offers an interesting perspective on the raging debate over the portrayal of violence in film, as watching this not long after ‘Elysium’ I found a scene here where a school bus full of children is deliberately torched much less disturbing than the one in ‘Elysium’ that simply has a young girl being verbally threatened. The reason of course is entirely down to the way each is filmed (we only really see an exterior shot of the bus in flames, whereas in the latter it is very obvious there is a real young girl in the room), with Eisener having a much better idea of what he was making, and the fact that here the violence has an unreal tongue in cheek manner to it laced with dark humour.

With a perfect retro soundtrack in accompaniment, this is one irreverent action film to fall in love with.


Quotes

“I can promise you, when I get out of here, I’m gonna bite your face off!”   Rutger Hauer/Hobo

“You want to know if I’m homeless? So you can kill me! Some people, got a bed to sleep on. Where they can crawl under the covers and have a good night’s rest. But other people, they don’t got beds at all. Instead they got to find a alleyway, or a park bench, where some fuckers not going to stab them. Just because they don’t got beds doesn’t mean they’re homeless! Cos guess what? They got the biggest home of any of us. It’s called the streets! And right now, we’re all standing in their home! So maybe, we should show them some God damn respect! If this is their home, they got a right to keep it clean don’t they? Sometimes, on the streets, a broom just ain’t gonna fuckin’ cut it! That’s when you gotta get a shotgun! So if you wanna kill me, go ahead. But I’ll warn ya, from where I’m standing, things are looking real fuckin’ filthy!”   Molly Dunsworth/Abby

Hansel and Gretel : Witch Hunters  (2013)    62/100

Rating :   62/100                                                                       88 Min        15

Gory fantasy violence as the traditional fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel gets a modern makeover. The original story was of course written by the Brothers Grimm, and indeed the look and feel of this film is very similar to Terry Gilliam’s ‘The Brothers Grimm’ with a lot of attention paid to the production design, including an animatronic troll, and complete with a very similar role for everyone’s favourite bad guy Peter Stormare. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton play the titular two, grown into adulthood and battle hardened after many successful seasons of witch hunting, but now they face multiple child abductions in the same area, and a brush with their mysterious past. Famke Janssen makes an appearance, and you can expect lots of frenetic and gaudily over the top fight sequences with blunderbusses and magic. Ok, but instantly forgettable.

A brief look behind the cameras – look out for what must surely have been a painful blow to the midriff…

Hitchcock  (2012)    72/100

Rating :   72/100                                                                       98 Min        12A

Threading a delicate and careful tapestry of the two main characters and their relationship, ‘Hitchcock’ gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the making of one of the most famous horror films of all time, ‘Psycho’ (60), and an insight into what it may have been like for its even more famous director, Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins), and his wife and longtime collaborator Alma (Helen Mirren). Both lead actors do a very fine job, with Hopkins in particular really seeming to relax into the role although his accent falls perhaps halfway between that of Hitchcock and his own. The film plays with the various myths and legends, idiosyncrasies and potential problems, passions and seeds of future sorrows that surrounded the latter part of the life of the director and, in particular, his last fistful of films, a few of which – ‘Psycho’, ‘The Birds’ (63), ‘Marnie’ (64), and in my opinion ‘Frenzy’ (72), have surpassed the test of time to enter into the annals of movie legend, and are studied religiously in film schools the world over.

Danny Huston is in support, with Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel playing Janet Leigh and Vera Miles respectively, though neither of the modern day leading ladies are given much to do here other than look pretty, a task which certainly falls well within their artistic purview. During the narrative, small hooks are tied to the real-life killings that ‘Psycho’ was based on, with the killer Ed Gein being played by Michael Wincott (who also portrayed the killer in 2001’s ‘Along came a Spider’), indeed the whole film is based on the 1990 factual novel ‘Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho’ by Stephen Rebello. The release of the movie coincides with a made-for-TV film, ‘The Girl’, which focused on the making of ‘The Birds’ & ‘Marnie’ and Hitchcock’s relationship with the star of both those films, Tippi Hedren. As to who plays the role of Hitchcock better, Hopkins or Toby Jones in ‘The Girl’, that is a pretty tough call to make, and though the differences in budget do make for a more slick final product with ‘Hitchcock’, as you would expect, it arguably also makes for a slightly safer one.

The two films together make excellent companion pieces and any fan of the director, or of film history, would do well to watch both of them, back to back if possible, with ‘Hitchcock’ sequentially first. And then watch his films again of course….

Hyde Park on Hudson  (2012)    0/100

Rating :   0/100             COMPLETE INCINERATION             94 Min         12A

Vacuous, in love with itself, and dull as hell. This film tells the story of how American president Franklin D. Roosevelt misused his powers to have his way with various women, essentially abusing them in the process. The music, sounding like what would be expected at the end of a ‘Star Trek : The Next Generation’ episode mixed with repetitive T-Mobile esq. plinkety plonk, and the general tone suggest that this is all fine and dandy, and that if you’re the American president, and especially if you are being played by Bill Murray, then you can do whatever you like. The girls in the row behind me at the cinema were so bored they started making out with each other in a not so subtle fashion, it would be interesting to know if they were gay before they went in or not. The constant reference, with a singular exception, to the United Kingdom as England is also not only completely unacceptable, but utterly disrespectful to the men and women from Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland who would go on to give their lives defending their country and the liberties of others during the Second World War. Unforgivable.

Hope Springs  (2012)    75/100

Rating :   75/100                                                                     100 Min        12A

A well put together and nuanced comedy with a great performance from Tommy Lee Jones, proving an equal and apt match for the talents of Meryl Streep who plays his loving wife of 31 years as they enter counselling for their stalled marriage. Just the right amount of seriousness and comedy, or comedic seriousness, for the very real and often intolerably difficult subject matter, it paints in many ways a palatable veneer on the inevitability of death as we watch the two central characters wrench their souls to debate whether a dwindling depreciation is the only thing they can realistically expect from their long extant marriage, or whether the final change of divorce or the equally tough facing up to reality might allow for a reversal of the trend.

Given that the timescale is just over one week in their lives, as the wife strong-arms her husband into a couple’s therapy vacation in Maine, the film deals with the issues at hand ably and you will probably recognise at least one person you know in each of the pair, but the inherent constraints do leave us wondering a little what the post-film prognosis might be. With Steve Carell and, briefly, Elisabeth Shue in support.

Interestingly, a recent scientific study looking at the longterm lifespan of couples found that the ones destined for success and stability were those who worked together constantly to solve the little day to day sundries which are precisely the sort of things that often get put to one side, the humdrum such as fixing a leaky tap or getting the shopping right, whereas those who regarded these constant pop-ups in a relationship as merely trivial were the ones who perished in the fires of deceased relationship hell.

Presumably this is all to do with basic communication, but also the constantly reinforced idea of working together as a well functioning unit and being listened to and taken seriously by your other half and indeed that boost of satisfaction from having solved a problem, even a small one, although I think I’m right in remembering that the study also concluded allowing the male partner to indulge in sexual consort with many libidinous women at the same time was also a normal and healthy way to speed the wheels to everlasting marital bliss. Yup, pretty sure …