The Secret Life of Walter Mitty  (2013)    71/100

Rating :   71/100                                                                     114 Min        PG

The second cinematic adaptation of James Thurber’s 1939 short story (the first was in 1947 with Danny Kaye as Mitty) this time starring and directed by Ben Stiller as the titular central character. Stiller excels at playing the sympathetic everyman, and never has he been more successful at doing so than here, as we see our hero to be daydreaming about winning the girl of his dreams (we see these phases of zoning out as over the top action sequences that he plays out in his head) whilst he remains quiet and somewhat under the radar, dutifully adherent to his routine job and routine lifestyle, until one day adventurer and photographer Sean Penn inadvertently sends him on a trip that’s a million miles (well, not quite a million) outside of his comfort zone.

It’s a feel-good film that really works, as Mitty rediscovers a sense of joie de vivre whilst we learn more about his character and backstory. It ebbs and flows, as the real world quenches his new found optimism when he returns from his first adventure, but ultimately there is a real sense of cathartic satisfaction from this film, and the wonderful location shots of Iceland are enough to make anyone want to do a spot of travelling. With Kristen Wiig and Adam Scott.

47 Ronin  (2013)    66/100

Rating :   66/100                                                                     118 Min        12A

Based on Japan’s epic legend and visually very nice, but at the same time somehow completely flat throughout. The true story this is based on is a fascinating tale of honour, feudal Japan, and the way of the samurai, or Bushido, as the forty seven warriors are forced to become ronin (the Japanese term for a samurai without master) when their lord is ordered to end his life, and they spend the next couple of years planning a reckoning. Here, however, the filmmakers have opted to mix the story in with fantasy elements from mythology, which may have worked but there’s no real skill in the delivery, no real scope or tension to bait the audience with.

Keanu Reeves is the token famous western actor to sell the film with and who had his part deliberately augmented with that in mind, although he is actually pretty good in it – the rest of the cast is comprised of well know actors in Japan, but with that in mind it would have been a much better idea to film the dialogue in Japanese and then subtitle it as their delivery of the English lines leaves a lot to be desired and arrives, at times, painfully slowly. Where the film is successful, is in painting a wonderfully rich image of eighteenth century Japan with fairly grandiose sets and the costume department in particular outdoing themselves (although they too have not always pinioned themselves with historical accuracy). The fighting though, is nowhere near as good as in the likes of ‘13 Assassins’ (10) and there is a very average feel to what had the potential to be very spectacular indeed. It may still satisfy though, if you just happen to be in the mood for a bit of light fantasy action.

The Hobbit : The Desolation of Smaug  (2013)    73/100

Rating :   73/100                                                                     161 Min        12A

Lots to like and lament in this, rather like last year’s first instalment ‘An Unexpected Journey’, including the realisation that Smaug is not pronounced ‘Smawg’, which sounds great, but rather should be uttered as ‘Smowg’, which sounds crap. At least, if we are to believe Martin Freeman’s Bilbo, who finally meets the great red dragon in person (voiced by man of the hour Benedict Cumberbatch, and yes dragons can talk, as well as type). Having a particular vested interest in seeing how well the animated creature bears up, I have to say I am impressed – even if he does seem to be a little easy to give the run around, certainly the hubris of Bilbo and his dwarves to rob him of his rightful home and treasure is deserving of some toasty punishment.

Like part one, for the 3D releases (not for the 2D ones I believe – check with your cinema) this was filmed with a double frame rate (48 frames per second instead of the normal 24 that pretty much every other film in history has been made with) and director Peter Jackson has stated that he listened to criticism of the technology before and endeavoured to ensure the film had a more ‘cinematic’ look this time. Well, for large chunks of footage MISSION FAILED – the negative aspects of this high speed rate largely disappear as the film progresses, but initially there are several scenes where things are happening laughably quickly. A scene with Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellen gives another fantastic performance as everyone’s favourite wizard) and Thorin in a Bree tavern (The Prancing Pony one presumes) sees sharp clear images that would be more at home in a made for TV episode of something, with the patrons zipping ludicrously about in the background. Surely someone working on it noticed it looked daft? Some of the effects (look out for the giant bumblebees that appear around Bilbo) also simply look fake, whilst others are fantastic: like most of the last third, and there is a scene featuring a captured orc at one point – the makeup and prosthetics would have us believe we’re looking at a real humanoid that once inhabited the Eurasian plate. In terms of the decision to even attempt a high speed frame rate – the cinematography from the original Lord of the Rings films was amazing, there really was no need at all to change it, and here, as well as the aforementioned misgivings, more could have been made of the natural beauty of Middle-earth/New Zealand in this instalment.

Jackson does seem to have listened to other criticisms and made better adjustments though – here the bad guys are nowhere near as squishy as before, although they remain pretty hopeless. We meet some new elves in the guise of Thranduil, played by Lee Pace, and Tauriel, played by Evangeline Lilly who was the absolute perfect choice for the part and seems to love every moment of her role, and the return of Orlando Bloom as a supposed to be younger but not really pulling it off Legolas. Those with a keen memory of ‘An Unexpected Journey’ will no doubt be puzzled as to why the eagles which saved the adventuring troupe did not take them all the way to The Lonely Mountain, and instead part two opens with them being chased by the same pesky wargs that the eagles purported to take them away from. This should really have been explained in the film, but the reason is either that the eagles believe in the balance of nature and don’t want to interfere too heavily on one side of any conflict, as Tolkien would ascribe to, or that they have a sense of humour, or indeed that they would also not really like a nearby, enormous sleeping dragon be woken up any time soon if it can be avoided.

The adventure is continued in a pleasingly convincing way, although I would probably suggest that seeing it in 2D is going to be by far the best way to enjoy it. It still feels like Lord of the Rings ‘lite’, a more palatable version for a younger audience which is in keeping with the novel but will still slightly annoy adult viewers. Nevertheless, the final part is set up to be the best of the bunch, and delving back into Middle-earth still feels suitably exciting.

Alas, there is no extra scene at the end of the credits. I certainly know what I would like to have seen a little sneak preview of ….

Frozen  (2013)    85/100

Rating :   85/100                       Treasure Chest                     108 Min        PG

A dazzling, emotional and thoroughly entertaining Disney animated musical that takes the studio back to the work of Hans Christian Andersen with a tale loosely based on his ‘The Snow Queen’, and this is every bit as good as their previous reworking of his ‘The Little Mermaid’ back in 1989. Two new princesses get added to the canon of Disney hotties as we are introduced to Anna (Kristen Bell), a playful redhead full of energy, and Elsa (Idina Menzel), the elder of the two but who, as she ages, sees her mysterious powers to shape ice grow, effectively becoming a Nordic version of Doctor Manhattan and a danger to everyone she loves. But will she turn to the Disney dark side and kill everyone whilst laughing maniacally? That is, indeed, the question.

Actually, a number of tropes are wisely turned on their head here, and the company have made sure to fill the movie with their trademark wit and intelligence to allow all members of the family to enjoy it. The contrasting voices of the two sisters, with both lead actresses doing all their own singing, works really well, and a number of the songs are delivered with memorable gusto and power. The animation is simply terrific, making the snowy landscape look wonderfully crystalline and at the same time inviting with their choices of rich, decorative and intrinsically beautiful colour schemes. One of the main scenes doesn’t work quite as well as intended, but this slight hiccup doesn’t prevent the film from being great from start to finish. It’s simply the perfect Christmas film.

There is a small post credits scene – the wait is a long one, but if you stay, look out for the brief note regarding one of the characters right at the end.

Quotes

“I want you to take me up the North Mountain…. I’ll rephrase that. Take me up the North Mountain!.” Kristen Bell/Anna

The Twilight Saga : Breaking Dawn Part One  (2011)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                     117 Min        12A

The penultimate member of the five film Twilight Saga and generally hailed as its worst instalment, although I actually enjoyed this to some degree – largely because SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS in this one. It remains cheesy, with bad dialogue and ropey effects, but this has been well established as one of the series’ trademarks so it doesn’t grate quite as much as before. The dire love triangle antics have been toned down somewhat with the advent of Bella and Edward Cullen’s wedding, which looks suitably impressive and matches the tone of the previous films. Bella decides to forgo her perverted hunger to become one of the undead until sometime after their honeymoon, thus allowing them plenty of time to engage in all sorts of inter-species sanguine shenanigans. Unfortunately, this releases unforeseen biological consequences (not particularly surprising ones) driving the rest of the story forward as everyone in their home town releases a collective groan at the latest predicament Bella’s wanton lust and stupidity have landed them all in. The scene with the audible ‘crack’ in it is particularly memorable, some of the music isn’t bad, and this actually had me looking forward to seeing what was to happen in the next one – which is more than can be said for its predecessors.

Through the Eyes of The Red Dragon

Thor : The Dark World  (2013)    73/100

Rating :   73/100                                                                     120 Min        12A

The latest Marvel adventure and the second solo film for the heir to the throne of Asgard, just over a year after his Mjolnir wielding antics in New York with ‘Avengers Assemble’. The graphic work is rich and colourful with the continued glamour of the home of the Norse gods of legend featuring heavily, as an ancient and forgotten evil, the dark Elves, reawakens and threatens to cover all of the nine realms (which includes ours incidentally) in eternal darkness, and only Chris Hemsworth (Thor) and Natalie Portman (Thor’s astrophysicist lover when he isn’t busy thumping things with his hammer) can stop them pesky Elves. But at what cost to Earth, Asgard and Thor’s sex life?

All the cast from the previous adventure return to reprise their roles – including Tom Hiddleston as Loki, the likeable supervillain predominantly equipped with one-liners, and Anthony Hopkins as Odin himself (I’m sure he has a line ‘Odin be praised’ in ‘Beowulf’ coincidentally). Initially, the film exhibits a lot of action and proceeds at a decent pace, but there is the distinct air of having seen such fare many times over in Marvel and other recent films and some of the characters, namely the scientists, are decidedly carefree upon discovering an inter dimensional portal (though I must admit, The Red Dragon does find the idea of Natalie Portman solving differential equations somewhat … exciting) but it isn’t too long before the story becomes more engaging, and Marvel once again display their trademark of visually remarkable set pieces with a solid helping of good comedy.

Another comic book adaptation to potentially enjoy more than once – be sure to stay for not just the first post credits scene, but also the second post credits scene which appears right at the very end (the wait is not terribly long for it though). Helmed by veteran TV director Alan Taylor (‘Game of Thrones’, ‘The Sopranos’ – also due to take charge of the Terminator reboot in 2015) watch out for the mention of Asgard Productions in the rolling credits too  …

Press interview with the cast followed by one of the B rolls showing off the location shots in London, Surrey and Iceland:

R.I.P.D.  (2013)    63/100

Rating :   63/100                                                                       96 Min        12A

It’s never really a good sign when one of your principal leads, in this case Jeff Bridges, comes out and publicly puts their own film down – here saying the final cut left him feeling ‘underwhelmed’. Going by its critical drubbing, that was putting it mildly for most people, and although it is true the whole movie constantly has an air of ‘this could have been much better’ and there’s a definite feeling of flatness throughout, especially in the first half, I’ll throw the gauntlet down and say it’s actually still quite fun.

Bridges buddies up with Ryan Reynolds to play two dead cops, in the case of Reynolds one very recently deceased, who have been unwittingly selected by the celestial forces of heaven to join the R.I.P.D. (Rest In Peace Department) and hunt down the dead souls (or deados as they’re called, a word which I certainly hope enters into the common vernacular. It’s a hell of a lot better than recent lexical addition ‘double denim’, in fact maybe the two could be switched…) who have by hook or crook escaped judgement from the almighty and are currently hiding in human form on Earth. It is a pretty cool premise and it’s based on the graphic novel of the same name by Peter M. Lenkov, although it does come across as a little too similar to ‘Men in Black’ (97), especially in the beginning, but despite this one of the film’s biggest pluses is that it doesn’t waste any time – the story continues to unfold at a good pace, and so the similarities are quickly forgotten.

Gags feature prominently, and like everything else they usually work to at least some degree. Used time and again is the fact that the two main characters are given disguises, or ‘avatars’, once they’re returned to the land of the living – for Reynolds, an old Chinese man (James Hong), and Bridges, a tall hot blonde (Marisa Miller). It’s a nice touch. Kevin Bacon has another good turn as the bad guy (see 2010’s ‘Super’) but one of the film’s strengths is the commitment of Bridges, who was murdered way back in the old west and sports a pretty unique cowboy accent. It’s unique to the point of not being able to understand what he’s saying all the time (apparently the sound department had issues with this) but it still works well and adds a lot of flavour to both his character and the film. Mary-Louise Parker is also good in support.

Personally I hope they make another one – here’s a glimpse behind the scenes …

The Mortal Instruments : City of Bones  (2013)    51/100

Rating :   51/100                                                                     130 Min        12A

Fantasy fare with vampires, werewolves, demons and pretty girls – I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like this on some level, but it manages to be derivative of pretty much every other popular fantasy universe out there, and the fact that the author of the teenage fantasy book it’s based on, Cassandra Clare, began by writing fan fiction for Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings comes as no surprise at all. The effects are good, but the story and dialogue leave a lot to be desired, especially when it comes to central character Clarissa Fray (Lily Collins mmm) who is more than hopeless as she discovers her ancestry and its place within the fraternity of ‘shadowhunters’ that stalk and kill demons lurking amongst mortals. It starts off well, with Lena Headey (double mmm) playing Clarissa’s mother and guardian, but it’s mostly downhill from there, with too much emphasis on a particularly limp love triangle which apes the Twilight trend of young girls leading multiple men on and causing general carnage around them, and lots of just silly moments, like managing to freeze a bunch of demons and then waiting until they unfroze to kill them, possible just to show off the CGI. Daft. Envisioned as the first in a franchise, also with Jamie Campbell Bower and Robert Sheehan as the male love interests, together with Jared Harris and Jonathan Rhys Meyers in support.

Percy Jackson : Sea of Monsters  (2013)    51/100

Rating :   51/100                                                                     106 Min        PG

The sequel to 2010’s ‘Percy Jackson & The lightning Thief’ sees most of the cast return for the next adventure, although Anthony Head has replaced Pierce Brosnan as Chiron the centaur. It’s based on the novel by Rick Riordan, part of a five book series focusing on main character Percy Jackson, the half human son of Poseidon, and his adventures with best buds Grover, a satyr, and Annabeth, the half human daughter of Athena (each played by Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson and Alexandra Daddario {Texas Chainsaw 3D} respectively). This time around, the intrepid trio must make their way to ‘The Sea of Monsters’, which in human terms is just the Bermuda Triangle, to find the Golden Fleece of myth, apparently significantly relocated since Jason quested for it in the Black Sea millennia ago, as only the Fleece’s regenerative powers can save the tree that protects Camp Half-Blood from the poison it is infected with. But the dastardly devil who infected said tree (just like in the Harry Potter series, it is in fact the same bad guy from the previous instalment) also intends on using the Fleece – to ‘revive’ Kronos, father of the gods and ruler of all before his children usurped and murdered him.

Yes, the story really is that shit. Not only that, but reviving Kronos was also the central plot for 2012’s ‘Wrath of the Titans’. Indeed, the villain here had only to not poison the protective tree, and thus not also send the heroes off after the Fleece, to be able to track down the object of his desire in a pleasant and unhurried manner. However, the story could be forgiven its various sillinesses, were it not for most of the rest of the film misfiring too. Percy has hero doubts/daddy issues as Poseidon won’t talk to him (perhaps so they wouldn’t have to pay an actor to play him again) and realises he has a brother, courtesy of the god of the oceans having his way with a nymph (if it’s anything like the real Greek myths, this means he raped her), the result of which, bizarrely, is a half human, half cyclops called Tyson, that everyone picks on. For families and youngsters the adventure and very crude and obvious character development is probably fine, and may indeed even prove suitably entertaining, but for anyone older this is not going to hold their attention for very long.

The special effects are also a let down in several key areas, perhaps nowhere more so than in the animation of Tyson’s solitary eye, which at no point really looks convincing. The concept of Greek mythology in a modern day setting isn’t really so bad, but it’s just delivered in a sort of lame ‘Scooby Doo’ manner, and much like the other modern day bastardisations of one of the most fundamental literary resources of western civilisation (of which, 2011’s ‘Immortals’ is by far and away the worst example) it scrambles to fit in all of the most extreme characters from the source material. It’s crazy, and completely unnecessary – the myths have so much scope within them that you would never in a million years run out of stories to tell and epic films to create. Much better to focus on the small scale, build some characters up and then throw them into historical context, modern day or ancient, combined with one or two detailed elements from mythology. Indeed, here, for the son of Poseidon, Jackson certainly forgets to use his powers an awful lot, not to mention his staring into space digesting the scene while he really should be, Olympus forbid, doing something heroic.

A couple of nice touches exist – Nathan Fillion appears as Hermes and bemoans the death of an unfairly cancelled TV show (he was the captain, Mal, of the ship Serenity on Joss Whedon’s cancelled masterpiece ‘Firefly’ of course) and when they end up on an abandoned but still operating fairground ride, two of them start humming ‘It’s a small world’, which is the song that plays incessantly on the rides of the same name at Disneyland (The Red Dragon was once on the Paris version of this when it broke down, but THE SINGING CONTINUED. For quite some time. I suspect foul play by sick minded teen operators). This is an adaptation of the second book in the series, so the assumption has to be they were hoping to milk the franchise and get all five of them out there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they decided to curtail it at three, and just mash the best bits of the final three books together.

The Wolverine  (2013)    57/100

Rating :   57/100                                                                     126 Min        12A

Another flawed and humdrum X-Men film. It’s the latest one to focus entirely on central character Logan, a.k.a. Wolverine, from the franchise, following in the footsteps of the previous films and his own personal outing ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ (09). The action takes place in a modern day time frame, after the events of ‘X-Men : The Last Stand’ (06), with Logan trying to come to terms with losing Jean Grey and, well, killing her. This essentially forms the very loose character justification for the film, but in reality it seems to simply serve as an excuse to feature the return of Famke Janssen in dream sequences sporting various nighties and proffering us a number of different views of her cleavage. The overall character arc from the beginning of the film through to the end is sufficiently insufficient to wonder if there was really any point to making it at all.

Not to mention one of the few things of any actual consequence that does happen is pretty annoying in terms of what it leaves the character with, especially if you really like Wolverine, as is the case for The Red Dragon. All of the secondary characters are two dimensional at best, as Logan gets caught up in an entirely dismal and predictable family feud in Japan, that sees him inevitably step up to save the damsel in distress – but will she help him forget Famke Janssen’s cleavage, and rediscover his joie de vivre? Well, not if baddie mutant Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova) has anything to do with it – a fairly bad ass villain who is given no history or real flesh whatsoever, even Gargamel in ‘The Smurfs’ (11) has more onscreen presence, and it’s a complete waste of both the actress and the character. We also see our hero team up with Mariko (Tao Okamoto), whom we are supposed to believe is another mutant, but we actually doubt it – so poorly are her powers depicted to us. Indeed, one of the human characters seems a much better candidate for super hero abilities with his seeming inability to miss with his bow and arrow, much like Hawkeye in ‘Avengers Assemble’ (12).

Having said all that, I did enjoy seeing Wolverine back on the big screen, and Hugh Jackman vigorously embodies, with all his growling testosterone, the part he was born to play. All in all, it feels like a very, very standard comic book story, one that on the page probably wouldn’t achieve anything greater than wetting your appetite for more, but on the big screen the lackluster story can barely be concealed (ironically, the Japanese story arc in the comics is one of the best received ones). The visuals of Japan, whilst not spectacular, are certainly very beautiful, to Iranian cinematographer Amir Mokri and director James Mangold’s credit (who previously directed Jackman in ‘Kate & Leopold’, opposite Meg Ryan and Sabretooth actor Liev Schreiber, in 2001), and indeed showcasing Japan is probably the film’s biggest success. Mangold is capable of better than this, and bar a few moments of involving action, he and the cast deserved a much better script.

There is an after credits scene that you most definitely have to wait for (it plays after the initial credits, not after the full sequence so the wait is a short one), though I have very mixed feelings about what is revealed there too …..