Grown Ups 2  (2013)    34/100

Rating :   34/100                                                                     101 Min        12A

Adam Sandler’s sequel to his commercially successful 2010 film ‘Grown Ups’ sees the return of the entire cast, not to make their audience laugh, unless their audience is comprised entirely of emotionally underdeveloped twelve year old boys, but to make a lot of money whilst expending no creative effort, nor indeed any effort of any kind whatsoever. I can’t remember a single thing about the original, that’s how good it was, unfortunately I wish I could say the same for this cringe worthy attempt at comedy which has genuine moments of ‘this was actually allowed to be made and deemed suitable for human consumption?’. Sandler’s own production company, Happy Madison Productions, (which has long since been blind to the quality of the products it ships out), being the film’s driving force, answers this question.

There are a few reasonably amusing gags, but they are steamrollered by the abundance of flatulence driven garbage that assaults the audience throughout, as if they couldn’t be bothered actually writing a real script but instead turned up onset and decided to begin throwing themselves into objects, farting at the same time. Hilarious. Between these high brow entertainments feature a Stifler pleasing amount of well endowed women showing off their assets, as if Sandler is determined to not only appeal to the lowest common denominator, but also wishes to mount a one man crusade against feminism at the same time.

The returning roster of shame includes Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello and Maya Rudolph as the principal cast, with a few familiar faces in support, including Taylor Lautner, which, you may be surprised to learn, does not improve matters.

RED 2  (2013)    70/100

Rating :   70/100                                                                     116 Min        12A

The sequel to 2010’s RED (which stands for retired and extremely dangerous) features the return of the stellar cast, most of whom you can probably identify from their silhouettes in the above picture (if you can’t, the answers from left to right are: Byung-hun Lee, John Malkovich, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Anthony Hopkins, and Helen Mirren), and the revival of an old cold war project, together with the resultant attempts of various parties to assassinate principal characters, and ex CIA agents, Frank Moses (Willis) and Marvin Boggs (Malkovich).

An action comedy with the emphasis on the comedy – it’s good fun, I’d say more so than the first one even, and just like its predecessor it’s obvious the cast are enjoying themselves. Indeed, the scene I remember the most about the previous film (asides from Helen Mirren lasciviously firing some sort of Gatling gun – she gets a sniper rifle in this one and enjoys it just as much, in fact altogether she looks pretty damn hot for a women in her late sixties {see ‘Age of Consent‘ (69) if you are a fan of Dame Mirren}) was when Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis’ characters meet for the first time, each sporting beaming smiles, like two giants of their industry respectfully acknowledging the other (I assume they have appeared onscreen before this, although I can’t off the top of my head think when, hmm …. seems there were two films, see if you can get them both {answers at the end}). The story serves its purpose just fine, but it’s already worth going to see just for the cast alone. Willis has expressed interest in a third installment (meanwhile he has not been rehired for The Expendables 3, after supposedly asking for $1m a day for his services  {but Harrison Ford is on board, along with Jackie Chan, Wesley Snipes and Nicolas Cage}), on the back of this The Red Dragon hopes that’s one sequel that will get the go ahead.

Films starring Morgan Freeman and Bruce Willis – RED 2010, Lucky Number Slevin 2006, Bonfire of the Vanities 1990

P.S. The next Die Hard film has been given a title – Die Hardest. Oh yes.

The Heat  (2013)    69/100

Rating :   69/100                                                                     117 Min        15

From Paul Feig, director of 2011’s ‘Bridesmaids’, and starring Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock, ‘The Heat’ is a comedy arising from a very traditional good cop/bad cop buddy routine, with Bullock’s FBI agent Ashburn and McCarthy’s local hard ass Boston cop Mullins forced to combine their various talents to close in on an especially violent drugland boss. The focus is on the comedy throughout, and it constantly delivers the goods – usually by way of the foul mouthed and fierily on form McCarthy. The character of the too straight laced and socially awkward/professionally unliked Ashburn grates on more than one occasion, with very obvious gags such as Mullins trying to loosen her up and make her appear ‘sexy’ to seduce one of the bad guys, and with the general feel of the character evoking memories of several in Bullock’s back catalogue (her Razzie winning role in ‘All About Steve’ 09 for example {although it really wasn’t bad enough to merit a Razzie}).

McCarthy continues to go from comedic strength to strength, using her strong screen presence and her mischievous wit to memorably amusing effect. Should prove both enjoyable, and slightly irritating, in equal measure for both sexes.

Frances Ha  (2012)    66/100

Rating : 66/100                                                                         86 Min        15


Starring and co-written by Greta Gerwig (‘Greenberg’ 2010, ‘To Rome with Love‘ 2012) this is a sweet little black and white film following twenty seven year old Frances, as she suddenly realises her career and relationships are perhaps not really heading in the directions she had thought they were. Set in New York City, it’s a drama acted out via situational comedy, primarily revolving and depending upon the lovability and appreciation of the slightly ditsy, but fun loving, Frances, and her deep but soon to be strained connection with her soul mate and best friend Sophie (played by Sting’s daughter, Mickey Sumner). It is largely successful in its premise, but it is a little pretentious in places, with lots of stylised images of ‘artists’ smoking, which is not only a cliché but an outdated one, with smoking’s social acceptability on the steady decline (something which some of the dialogue seems self conscious of). It feels like the characters are living in the cinema of the sixties rather than now, a feeling deepened by a random trip to Paris at one point for Frances – although this also mirrors modern successful films, with the likes of ‘2 days in Paris’ (07), sequel ‘2 days in New York’ (12), ‘Paris, je t’aime’ (06) / ‘New York, I Love You’ (09) and Woody Allen’s migration from his love affair with The Big Apple to European cultural hotspots, most recently with his much lauded ‘Midnight in Paris’ (11) and the aforementioned ‘To Rome with Love’.

It’s directed by Noah Baumbach (‘Margot at the Wedding’ 2007, ‘Greenberg’) who teamed up with Gerwig for the script. Overall it meanders a little too much, and is a little vain, but nevertheless it successfully crafts a delicate and artful expression of friendship.

 

The World’s End  (2013)    51/100

Rating : 51/100                                                                       109 Min        15

This is a film that people will really want to like, forming as it does the final act in Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and director/writer Edgar Wright’s Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy (which riffs on Kieslowski’s Three Colours Blue trilogy and reputedly came about after a reporter pointed out the ice cream connection to Wright, whilst interviewing him to promote ‘Hot Fuzz’) that began with the seminal ‘Shaun of the Dead’ (strawberry) back in 2004, noticeably ran out of gas with 2007’s ‘Hot Fuzz’ (original), and here (mint chocolate chip) all but splutters to a grinding halt, offering but a few sparse gasps of comedy to last us through to the end. It’s a similar set up to before, with the protagonists in mortal peril from bad guys who are superior in numbers – in this case an army of robots that have overrun the small town of Newton Haven and threaten not only the heroes’ lives, but also to interrupt their pub crawl, supposed to end at The World’s End pub which the five friends failed to reach on a similar venture in their youth, two decades earlier.

The popularity of the cast, and that of ‘Shaun of the Dead’, will ensure a lot of grace for this outing, and overall it is easy enough to simply watch, but even the super keen midnight preview audience I was a part of only managed perhaps six or seven laughs throughout, and there’s a feeling of obviousness, a significant drag factor, and a contrived undertow that gives the sense that by trying to mirror the central aspects of their trilogy they have actually crossed the line into becoming a cliché of their own work. Plus they seem to be fighting against the squishiest mechanised monsters in cinema history, that appear to have been assembled out of nothing more than Styrofoam and Silly Putty. Some of the better gags come from their decision to carry on drinking despite the slight snag to their Dionysian plans, but it could really have been milked for a lot more than it is.

Pegg and Frost star, alongside Paddy Considine, Eddie Marsan, Martin Freeman, Rosamund Pike and a host of familiar faces in support. Probably best enjoyed after a pub crawl of your own (if you can stay awake until the good bits that is).

Monsters University  (2013)    79/100

Rating :   79/100                                                                     104 Min        U

Pixar show once again that they, together with their Disney partners/owners, are in a league of their own when it comes to animation that will appeal to all audiences, regardless of age. This is a prequel to their successful 4th film Monsters Inc (2001) and tells the tale of how the two central characters Mike (Billy Crystal) and Sullivan (John Goodman) originally came to meet at the titular Monsters University (M.U.), and their challenge to prove themselves worthy enough to compete with the scariest monsters around.

The rendering work looks superb, and overall the story is engaging and inspiring, with the raft of interesting secondary characters that we’ve come to expect. Voice support comes from the likes of Steve Buscemi and Helen Mirren and as always a cameo from the company’s good luck totem, John Ratzenberger. There is a brief after credits scene, though you do have to wait a pretty long time to get to it ….

The Internship  (2013)    3/100

Rating : 3/100                                                                         119 Min        12A

Wanting to both scream and vomit at the same time, I simply sat in outraged stupefaction, as Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson regurgitated their tried and tested formula onscreen in this, their latest offering of comedy which is about as funny as weaponised Ebola. It follows the pair’s wildcard entry into the internship program at Google, after their sales company went under, wherein everyone is divided into groups to compete in a number of tasks, with only the overall best performing team being selected to work at the company – presumably to then find the best way to avoid paying tax and snoop on unsuspecting members of the public. Despite the pair knowing nothing about computers, will their maturity and enthusiasm somehow win out against the odds, and will Owen Wilson somehow seduce the super hot Rose Byrne in the process? No prizes for correctly guessing the answer.

The problem is, the formula they’re using does work. It’s easy for the audience to eventually get behind the underdogs, it’s easy to get carried along by a happy ending, and we’re led by music telling us we’re happy and having a good time all the way. It is the encapsulation of the much touted ‘feel good factor’, and even I left a little under its influence, but that does not stop it from being an extremely thin veneer on what is ultimately, and definitively, trash, and it most certainly does not compensate for the inherent lack of laughs. Part of the plot is that Vince Vaughn’s character is some kind of super salesman, but he’s about as smooth as an electrocuted porcupine – I don’t think I’d buy water off him if I was dying of thirst in the desert. The pair of them need to ditch this potboiler routine of theirs quickly before their audience is permanently turned away, but I can easily see Vaughn still attempting to do it from his wheelchair thirty years from now.

This Is the End  (2013)    73/100

Rating :   73/100                                                                     107 Min        15

The latest offering from the new wave of comedy writers, actors and directors that have dominated Hollywood for the last few years, this time all playing parodies of themselves. Jay Baruchel meets up with his old comedy buddy Seth Rogen (they are both Canadian) and they all go to the number one party hangout in L.A. – James Franco’s house. Jay wonders how close he and Rogen really are anymore, but before he can find answers to this and other quasi-existential problems, disaster strikes. An actual disaster, that is, with earthquakes galore and a hefty mortality rate, and North America’s funniest are forced to band together in an effort to survive.

Initially, the first thing that comes to mind in the opening quarter is ‘Shaun of the Dead’ (04), with the mixture of comedy and bloody violence that we are greeted with. Given the team behind that zombie-comedy hit have their new film coming out in a matter of weeks, and that it’s called ‘The World’s End’ with the definite appearance from the trailer of a doomsday scenario, it hardly seems like a coincidence. First out of the blocks then, how does this one perform? Well, once it gets going it’s not long before it establishes its own voice, and it becomes a lot of fun, with good performances from everyone and some nice cameos from the likes of Emma Watson and Michael Cera, and indeed a certain famous band from the nineties, along with a fantastic appearance from Channing Tatum.

Look forward to gory, sweary violence, and, well, everything else you might expect to find at a party held at James Franco’s humble abode….

Despicable Me 2  (2013)    65/100

Rating :   65/100                                                                       98 Min        U

A reasonable sequel to 2010’s ‘Despicable Me’, featuring the voices of Steve Carell, Kristen Wiig and Steve Coogan. From Illumination Entertainment (who’s other films to date are ‘Hop’ in 2011 and 2012’s ‘The Lorax’, with a release planned for next year based entirely on the Minions from this series… ) it’s easy to watch and just as easy to forget, but should be fine for families and for fans of the original. Also introduces a love story arc for main character Gru. Not very despicable.

Populaire  (2012)    66/100

Rating :   66/100                                                                     111 Min        12A

A fairly decent French language film set in the late 1950’s that very much apes the feel of Audrey Hepburn’s ‘Funny Face’ (57) but which isn’t quite as enjoyable as that classic musical number, in fact it’s almost too light and fluffy for its own good, but with a warm heart that ultimately just wins out over predictability and comedy that never really does more than tickle lightly. It stars Romain Duris as insurance salesman Louis Échard looking for a new secretary – enter Déborah François as the young and very beautiful small town ingenue Rose Pamphyle who will fill the position after demonstrating excessively rapid typing skills, to the extent that Louis feels compelled to enter her into regional speed typing tournaments, and to train her to realise her full typewriting championship potential.

It’s immediately obvious that a romance can hardly fail to develop, and Duris’ character fills the boots of the ‘douche bag guy who will inevitably come good in the end’, but whilst Duris’ performance nor his character are particularly convincing, Déborah François is what really sells the picture, giving a strong and very affable portrayal of the clumsy and yet determined Rose, and surprisingly the fairly dull sounding competition of speed typing becomes reasonably interesting – they even manage to fit in a ‘Rocky’ style training montage at one point.

Bérénice Bejo plays a supporting character that aids in no small way the budding romance, but also teaches Rose to play piano – ostensibly to aid her digital adroitness, but also nodding to the most famous roles of both lead actors to date; ‘The Page Turner’ (06) for François, and ‘The Beat that my Heart Skipped’ (05) for Duris, in which he also played an angry twat who somehow gets the girl by shouting at her in a fit of rage at one point, if memory serves. Indeed, in one scene here Rose gives him a good slap, and he’s just as quick to give her a good one right back – it’s very French, but also perhaps another nod to a moment in ‘Funny Face’ with a Parisian couple sitting outside a nightclub, the female member of which is angrily shouting at her male partner, who, naturally, slaps her across the face, and she promptly responds by hugging and kissing him passionately. ‘Populaire’ takes its name from the brand of typewriter Rose uses, and marks the feature film debut of Régis Roinsard.