Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day  (2014)    61/100

Rating :   61/100                                                                       81 Min        PG

Adapted from the 1972 children’s book of the same name by Judith Viorst, part one of a three part series, this effectively shoots itself in the head right at the very beginning by showing us what is due to happen to the Cooper family, consisting of mum, dad, eleven year old Alexander, his older siblings Anthony and Emily, and his baby brother Trevor, as they experience the titular very bad day. All instigated, it seems, by Alex, who felt everyone around him had the Midas touch whilst he was the perpetual victim of misfortune, thus inducing him to make a wish that the rest of his family should experience what he is used to for a change, a wish that he quickly comes to regret as a series of reasonably catastrophic, though family friendly, events befall each of them, including even the baby. Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner are the famous faces that play the parents and the delivery and essential story is all fine, it’s just that since we are going one or two days back in time within the narrative there seems precious little point to setting up each of the unfortunate events when we’ve already seen what their outcome is going to be. It was a really daft way to open the film, and though it is still a reasonable family movie extolling the virtue of sticking together no matter what, it could easily have been much better.

A Walk Among the Tombstones  (2014)    66/100

Rating :   66/100                                                                     114 Min        15

Gestating for many years, Lawrence Block’s 1992 novel finally reaches the big screen with Liam Neeson as central character Matthew Scudder, a recovering alcoholic operating as a private detective some years after deciding to leave the NYPD. Neeson was apparently Block’s top choice for the role (Harrison Ford was reportedly attached to the project at one point) and it’s easy to see why, with a string of very successful ‘Liam Neeson versus’ films in his recent back catalogue, Non-Stop being the most recent example, and this time he’s up against COMPLETE SCUMBAGS in the guise of crooks that abduct girls and collect the ransom money but then butcher their captives anyway, so there is a somewhat gleeful element of – ‘Liam Neeson is on your case, you are totally fucked’.

The film opens very strongly, with a visceral scene of violence that fits completely the rather macabre title and sets up what is to follow very promisingly indeed. As the mystery unfolds it’s easy to get caught up in it, although unfortunately it never again reaches the intensity of the opening ten minutes. Come the end, it feels like the story is clutching at straws – trying to remain interesting whilst delivering something original, but only really succeeding at very average padding to round the film off with. Part of the problem is it begins with a very Dirty Harry esque character who then goes on a redemptive arc, which may be realistic, considerate and even gritty in its own right, but it’s also a little tedious when the narrative is trying to create scenarios to then justify the retribution or violence that the character is trying to avoid. Good enough to merit future adaptations of Block’s work though (Jeff Bridges previously played Scudder in ‘8 Million Ways to Die’, back in 1986), and a decent directorial effort from Scott Frank, better known for his work on screenplays, such as ‘Malice’ 93, ‘Out of Sight’ 98, ‘Minority Report’ 02 and The Wolverine. Also with Dan Stevens and David Harbour.

A Most Wanted Man  (2014)    69/100

Rating :   69/100                                                                     122 Min        15

Spy thriller set in modern day Hamburg and based on John le Carré’s 2008 novel of the same name. Directed by Anton Corbijn, his clinical and perhaps slightly austere artistic approach suits the genre well, as we see both the grubbiest and some of the more upmarket areas of the city feature and we are treated to the same slow, thoughtful and considered build up that was evident in ‘The American’ (10), and indeed seems to reflect the director himself if you’ve ever seen the documentary ‘Anton Corbijn Inside Out’ (12) about his life (he is arguably more famous for the music photography of bands like U2 and Depeche Mode than his movies as of yet).

Philip Seymour Hoffman plays Günther Bachmann, who leads a team of counter terrorist operatives in the city that must evaluate the potential threat of a Russian rebel, one who may have been radicalised through torture and who is seeking to withdraw a huge amount of money bequeathed to him by his father – presenting both funds and human collateral that could potentially be used by all sides in the local and global games of espionage and extremism at play. Robin Wright plays the CIA agent sent to make ‘suggestions’, Willem Dafoe plays the head of the bank holding the funds, and Rachel McAdams plays the idealistic lawyer with good intentions and tight jeans, which again present a dual opportunity for state appropriation.

It’s good, it holds attention throughout and the performances deliver – notably from leading man Hoffman as always, but it never reaches the level of intrigue or intensity of the likes of ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy’ (from 2011 and based on le Carré’s 1974 novel), although it has almost definitely been stylistically inspired by that film and it is ultimately a deserving addition to the canon. Look out for the scene with Hoffman and one of his informers on a boat talking about matters of deadly consequence whilst a barrage of seagulls swarm around them squawking noisily in the background. They determinedly carry on and Corbijn keeps the take – it’s a nice touch and shows his dedication to try and create something that feels gritty, but authentically so.

A Dangerous Game  (2014)    70/100

Rating :   70/100                                                                     102 Min        PG

A documentary from filmmaker Anthony Baxter and essentially a follow up to his hit 2011 film ‘You’ve Been Trumped’, which showed the effects of Donald Trump’s exclusive multi-million dollar golf course built in the rural landscape of the Northeast of Scotland, Balmedie in Aberdeenshire to be precise, and here we continue that story (he finally even manages to bag an interview with Trump himself after the shock waves the first film caused) whilst it is expanded to look at the environmental and economic impact of building courses in other areas of the world, in particular the historic seaside town of Dubrovnik where one is planned for the summit of the hill overlooking the town and would require syphoning off huge amounts of the town’s water supply, and indeed the issue sparks the first local referendum in Croatia’s modern day history.

Golf is a hideous game for the rich as far as The Red Dragon is concerned, in theory I have nothing against it and the activity should be a nice enterprise for those who would like some moderate exercise outdoors, in practise it is dominated by snobs and we have, in Scotland, golf courses all over the place – Edinburgh alone seems to have about five or six of them, all areas that could be public parks for general use. When I was young I was told I wouldn’t be allowed onto my local course as, despite turning up with my friends and having saved enough money to play, I apparently did not own enough clubs. I had a driver, a putter and maybe four or five irons – basically they were saying I was too poor to play as, after all, what would it look like if they let local kids that couldn’t afford a full golf set onto their greens? I mean, they can’t be seen to be encouraging young commoners to play, right? We might even beat them, imagine! We got our own back by sneaking onto the course at night for free anyway.

In short, fuck golf.

The game has also recently become one of the new sports added to the Olympic Games, and it beat squash to claim the place, which is just about the most ridiculous thing ever and of course has everything to do with the money that the ‘sport’ will bring to the games. Sad to say golf was invented in Scotland, although it is amazing the number of outdoor activities Britain in general has given the world given our somewhat inclement weather.

The documentary invites poignant discussion on the sheer amount of precious water that is used and wasted to keep the greens green in places where grass does not naturally grow – like the desert in Nevada where we see an exclusive retreat going out of business, or in the Middle East where a Tiger Woods designed course has had to be put on hold indefinitely because IT’S STUPID. We hear an interview with Alec Baldwin who has fought against a new golf enterprise in his native Long Island amid legitimate fears that the chemicals used on the grass can and will sink into the water supply for the area, and back in Scotland we see the effects on the local people of the building of Trump’s monstrosity, as one elderly woman in her nineties is left permanently without any running water and walls of earth are deliberately erected around other homes – and all of these people are constituents of Scotland’s first minister Alex Salmond, who appears to have fobbed off the beleaguered locals and done absolutely nothing to help them. Not content with this destruction, we learn Trump plans a second course beside the first and has the audacity to complain, legally, about the building of an offshore wind farm as he reckons it might ruin the view of the pigs he’ll have over for dinner. Unbelievable.

The Dubrovnik course is another very interesting major part of the film. However, criticism has to be levelled at the documentary as to how balanced a view we are receiving. Here, for example, an important vote is ruled invalid by the mayor of the town as, according to him, not enough people turned up to vote. Baxter tells us that the vote was carried by eighty percent of the ballot voting against the new construction, but the film never actually tells us what percentage of the town’s populace did come out to vote, so we are given the distinct impression that the mayor is corrupt but if ultimately only, say, ten percent of the township bothered to vote then the mayor would be quite right in considering it insubstantial constitutionally. It’s a little subtle with the momentum of the film strongly in opposition to all of the golf courses featured, but it’s important to consider how balanced a story we are being told – we also briefly hear from some people in Scotland who are happy that Trump has arrived to build an extension of his empire, but we don’t really hear why they think that, we are not given access to their insights on the matter. Similarly in the interview with the man himself, Trump repeatedly says the director will probably edit whatever he says in his favour, and no doubt in response to this the interview plays out in a fairly uninterrupted manner – but the same cannot be said of all the other interviews in the film.

Overall though, I think this is a well balanced, passionate and eye opening documentary, and the few areas of uncertainty are ironed over by numerous clips of real reactions to Baxter’s probing questions, as well as copious interviews with the people most affected by the issues at hand and a mind toward the politics of each situation as well, all edited and paced with enough skill that the audience’s appetites are kept suitably wetted throughout, for a subject that initially sounds a little too dry to be especially engaging.

As Above, So Below  (2014)    67/100

Rating :   67/100                                                                       93 Min        15

A handheld genre horror film with marvellous use of location shots and with a real sustained feeling of claustrophobia throughout. Every now and then you come across a film that details something in the real world and you think to yourself, ‘why have I never heard about this before?’, and for The Red Dragon this was precisely the case here as a group of youngsters head down into the Parisian Catacombs, which apparently spread for many, many miles under the City of Lights and exist as the final resting place for millions of her residents, adapted from old stone mines in the late eighteenth century as a solution to the lack of graveyard space in the city, and now one of the fourteen City of Paris Museums that constitute the Paris Musées.

The story follows the exploits of Scarlett (Perditta Weeks), the beautiful English rose (although Weeks is actually Welsh I should point out) whose father was obsessed with finding the Philosopher’s Stone – an obsession that may have driven him to suicide. She follows in his footsteps quite convinced that legendary alchemist Nicolas Flamel not only had possession of the stone, but also left clues for others to follow and find its location. Legend has it the stone can turn lead into gold but also heal the most grievous of wounds (it can, I posses it), and of course both it and Flamel were immortalised in the public imagination by J.K.Rowling in the first of her Harry Potter novels. What ensues has a strong treasure hunt feel to it, and in fact the film is more successful in this regard than, for example, either of the Tomb Raider films.

Descending underground leads to some very, very uncomfortable scenes and unusually for this type of film none of the characters are particularly annoying, where it does falter is in the opening segment which is notably weak, and later on when more supernatural elements come into play – all of which were done reasonably well, it’s just that they are also reasonably traditional and you kind of wish for that final spark that would really make this into something special. As it is, this is a uniquely polished production with moments of real intensity and at the same time one that isn’t simply content with trying to torment its audience like most of its contemporaries do, instead it plays out like a cross between ‘The Goonies’ (85) and ‘The Descent’ (05), producing a final concoction that is just as memorable in its own right.

A Most Complex Form of Ventriloquism  (2012)    70/100

Rating :   70/100                          Short Film                          14 Min        PG

The Red Dragon’s baleful gaze happened upon this by chance, and it was indeed a happy discovery – a short, low budget production from some budding filmmakers in Louisiana and their friends, who have done quite a remarkable job of presenting a very polished and eminently fun final film, one that manages the difficult task of staying interesting with just the right level of understated comedy running through the veins of the performances and story.

That story sees the Earth accidentally smacked by the Moon one day in the 1920’s, sending us on a relentless trajectory toward Mars and allowing spiritual mediums to become the new opiate of the masses. All of the performances here are good, especially so from Maureen Iverson who plays the beautifully sardonic, and sardonically beautiful, Margery, and overall writer/director Ashley Brett Chipman has sculpted a rich, enjoyable period oddity that suggests a lot of promise for her future career in film.

Entertaining in a way that a lot of big budget productions could learn from.

You can watch the film here.

Quotes

“To the Moon!”   Maureen Iverson/Margery

A Million Ways to Die in the West  (2014)    63/100

Rating :   63/100                                                                     116 Min        15

Seth MacFarlane’s second time at directing and writing a feature film (although he was joined by his usual collaborators Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild for the screenplay) after 2012’s ‘Ted’ takes us to the Old West of 1882, where he is about to be dumped by Amanda Seyfried and bemoan his misfortunes and the multitude of ways one can wind up dead in his middle of nowhere town, all before Charlize Theron meets and quickly falls in love with him. It’s a hard life really. The creator of ‘Family Guy’ is actually the thing that looks most out of place here, and although there are a few laughs it ultimately meanders around as light hearted entertainment that’s just as light on the, often toilet gag laden, comedy front. Where the film is actually quite successful is the chemistry between MacFarlane and Theron, who seem to share a few genuine laughs with each other onscreen, which is always nice to see. Elements of the story are closer to a stand up routine than a narrative in a comedy film, and there are certainly a lot of areas for MacFarlane to work on for his third film which must surely follow, but it does all right in the likeability factor come the end. With Liam Neeson in support and a host of brief cameo roles, including Ewan McGregor if you can spot him …

A Long Way Down  (2014)    30/100

Rating :   30/100                                                                       96 Min        15

The title of this film relates directly to its central premise of four people who happen to try and commit suicide by launching themselves off of the same building roof at the same time but, upon finding they actually have an extreme commonality with a few other human beings, they decide not to, at least for a while, and we follow the growing relationship between the four as we also come to learn what drove them up there in the first place. It’s so bad though, it could easily be interpreted in a number of other ways.

The central cast comprise Pierce Brosnan, Toni Collette, Imogen Poots and Aaron Paul, and almost all of the attempted moments of pathos or comedy completely fail, but this is all hindered by the fact that none of the main characters really seem to like each other much, and indeed it is difficult for the audience to like any of them either. Their reasons for ending it all run the gamut, with various degrees of plausibility – in fact one of them isn’t even sure he has a reason, which according to him makes his case the most ‘tragic’, and one of the others can’t handle looking after her severely handicapped child any more – it’s very difficult to find anything approaching sympathy for reasons like these.

It’s adapted from a Nick Hornby novel (who also wrote ‘High Fidelity’ and ‘About a Boy’) and asides from one amusing scene brought to life by a cameo performance from Rosamund Pike, there’s nothing really worth watching here. Brosnan and Collette do there best with what they’re given to work with, Aaron Paul continues on with his demented baby routine on the back of ‘Need for Speed’ and Imogen Poots comes the closest of the lot to bringing any meaning to the film, but alas in isolation it isn’t enough.

About Last Night  (2014)    13/100

Rating :   13/100                                                                     100 Min        15

Four uninteresting and largely fake characters engage in relationships with one another and we are unfortunate enough to be taken along for the ride, with as many potential hooks for the filmmaker’s target demographic as possible and almost no real relevance featured at any point. We see, for example, one of the females enraged at her male partner for staying out all night drinking with his friends as she is now left by herself to prepare lunch for people coming over, except she could’ve woken him up at any point, and then during lunch she casually lights up a joint in the kitchen whilst still bitching about her man. The four poor actors who at least refuse to throw in the towel throughout are Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy, Regina Hall and Joy Bryant, and I think they may have managed at least one laugh in there at some point, but the sort of laugh that never really makes it to the surface you’re so completely bored by the rest of it. Based on the 1974 play ‘Sexual Perversity in Chicago’ by David Mamet, and previously directed on film by Edward Zwick back in 1986.

A New York Winter’s Tale / Winter’s Tale  (2014)    53/100

Rating :   53/100                                                                     118 Min        12A

What a strange film. I don’t think I’ve found myself rolling my eyes in pained disbelief quite so many times in all the movies I’ve reviewed thus far, and yet the schmaltzy over indulgence did kind of get me interested toward the end, despite the protestations of my brain. I went into this with no prior knowledge of what it was about, but if you watch it, you must be prepared for a fairytale story defined by mystical notions, such as the biblical tussle of angels and demons for the souls of mankind and the concepts of miracles, fate and those worthy enough becoming stars in the heavens once they die. What happens once these stars go supernova, is not discussed.

The central character is Irish-American Peter Lake, played by Colin Farrell, whose parents set him adrift in a toy boat in New York harbour whilst they leave for presumably a better life elsewhere (the parents are displayed as caring ones, so this is not exactly a deed that will see many audience members warm to the start of the film). As luck would have it, the young child is picked up by Russell Crowe who seems to be playing an Irish Fagan, except that he’s also a demon, and his initial over acting and accent borders on the derogatory (he gets a little more palatable toward the end). In adulthood Lake rebels against his thieving foster father and this is where most of the story takes place, as he soon encounters a guardian spirit in the form of a flying white stallion (not in any way inspired by Pegasus you understand) and then breaks into a house for his last robbery in town, but then decides to steal the heart of the young lass he finds there instead using his Irish brogue and his horse (yes, it is that cheesy, though one suspects she had been fantasising about a burly Irishman breaking into to her private chambers for quite some time) although, tragically, she is dying of the consumption (that’s tuberculosis to you and I, although this particular victim appears to be in every visible way the picture of health) and thus destiny and fate become intertwined, together with their loins.

I won’t ruin the surprise of who turns up playing Lucifer. It’s Will Smith. Oops, well, it wasn’t really all that exciting, just like the movie. Truly, the first entire two thirds of this film should be eviscerated from existence, but even the black heart of I, The Red Dragon, was slightly moved by parts of the ending (I still wanted to gag at some bits here too though), due in part to me having already written it off and then finding the film had a few surprises in store. It’s the directorial debut of screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, who wrote the screenplay for ‘A Beautiful Mind’ (01), ‘A Time to Kill’ (96) and … ‘Batman & Robin’ (97), and it’s based on the novel ‘Winter’s Tale’ (1983) by Mark Helprin (the film title outside of the UK and Ireland is the same as the book, it seems possible confusion with Shakespeare is confined to the British Isles). Downtown Abbey’s Jessica Brown Findlay plays the object of Lake’s affections, Jennifer Connoly and William Hurt make brief appearances, and happily so does Eva Marie Saint – best supporting actress Oscar winner for 1954’s ‘On the Waterfront’.