Riddick  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                     119 Min        15

Following in the footsteps of ‘Pitch Black’ (2000) and ‘The Chronicles of Riddick’ (04), this continues the exploits of Vin Diesel’s central character Richard B. Riddick and returns him to a setup similar to the first film (all three have the same writer/director David Twohy), after he is stranded on an alien world and forced to survive against its aggressive native lifeforms, whilst an international bounty is slapped on his head to boot – one that is larger if he is returned dead rather than alive.

Unfortunately, the trailer renders a great deal of the film somewhat pointless as in it we are shown events from the final quarter of the film, taking ‘the sting’ out of the rest of the movie. It’s a shame, as although there is nothing here that’s especially original or interesting, neither is there much wrong with the film particularly, it’s just a little humdrum that’s all. Diesel is good in the role once again, though some of the supporting cast seem a little inexperienced. Expect plenty of sci-fi bug squishing.

Alan Partridge : Alpha Papa  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                       90 Min        15

Steve Coogan’s most iconic comedy persona gets his first big screen outing, twenty two years and multiple TV/radio shows after he was first aired to British audiences in 1991, with BBC Radio 4’s parody show ‘On The Hour’. After the heyday of his graduation from radio to television, Alan’s life has returned to a more leisurely pace working once more for the local radio station in Norwich. The peace is about to be ruined, however, when corporate downsizers arrive and it looks like either Alan, or his closest friend at the station Pat (at least, in the eyes of Pat he is his closest friend), are the two most likely candidates for the chop. Chaotic skullduggery ensues, resulting in a hostage situation at North Norfolk Digital, and a chance for Alan Partridge to once again appear in front of the cameras …

The Red Dragon has never been a big fan of the main character, in fact I’ve often wondered if he wouldn’t operate much better as a supporting one with the right surrounding enterprise, much like earlier in his career, and it’s a style of comedy that I find a little drab, a little obvious, and a little flat. That said, I would definitely call this is a solid adaptation of the TV series, but, despite laughing a few times, the thought of someone sitting me down to watch ‘Knowing me, knowing you … with Alan Partridge’ still makes me want to gag. One lady in the audience was practically wetting herself with laughter on more than one occasion (though she may have been laughing at the simple fact she was laughing) so this is most probably worth seeing if you are a fan of Coogan and his alter ego, but at the same time I think it’s unlikely to galvanise many people into new followers.

The Purge  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                       85 Min        15

A film that ironically purges itself of any real satire or commentary, despite its promising setting. Opening in the near future in America, the country’s crime rate has dropped to almost zero due to an ongoing successful social experiment whereby, for one day of the year, any and all crime is legalised, with no emergency services available for the twelve hour period concerned, and no repercussions of any kind allowed to follow activities undertaken during the anarchic period. The exceptions to this rule are a weapons grade restriction, and immunity for political figures who have a ranking of ‘ten’ or above, for reasons of national security of course, not because they don’t want to be targets for rape, murder and mutilation. Also, restricting their own illegal activities to just one day in the year may have been a little far fetched even for the film.

It’s from Blumhouse productions, the studio behind the ‘Paranormal Activity’ franchise whose last output, ‘Dark Skies’, did leave Red Dragon wondering what direction they would take their work hence, in order that it survive the endless repetition of their trademark techniques. So, the beginning of this attempt certainly had a lot of promise, a sanctioned explosion and indulgence in anything the human psyche could conceive, one even publicly encouraged by society’s leaders and law makers, suggesting everyone revel in order to ‘purge’ themselves of natural primitive desires – especially intriguing with the billing of lead actors Ethan Hawke and Lena Headey, who is an actor that certainly doesn’t shy away from twisted character portrayals, as evinced by her work on ‘Game of Thrones’ and as lead villain Ma-Ma in last year’s ‘Dredd’ (which was really good incidentally, even though no one went to see it).

Unfortunately, what unfolds is yet another ‘family under peril in their own home’ scenario, exactly like all of Jason Blum’s previous films. It even still features more overuse of security cameras, with the young boy in the house operating a remote controlled one in several scenes, to very little effect in terms of the tension. Everything pans out very, very predictably as it devolves into a simple action movie with the family trying to survive. Some of the action is very pointedly set up at the beginning with one of the neighbours complaining that the new extension to Hawke and Headey’s house has effectively been paid for by the rest of the neighbourhood, them all having bought security systems from the family’s business, and that a lot of them are not happy about it. It’s completely ridiculous, as if they only sold security to that one street, or everyone else in their enormous houses are so poor they can’t afford to do the same thing, or that they were even forced to buy from them for that matter – it’s not like the basic principles of business have changed in this jointly dystopian and utopian future.

It is successful in creating a certain amount of dark atmosphere, and the initial story was a great place to start, but everything else is pretty disappointing, and it still features main characters doing ridiculous things sure to endanger everyone, in true horror film style. Michael Bay is also listed as one of the producers (he co-owns the production company Platinum Dunes which predominantly works on horror films), and it is difficult to say how much overall influence Blumhouse had over the final cut, but given the end product, and the fact they make a big deal of marketing ‘from the producers of Paranormal Activity’, it’s probably fair to assume they had the lion’s share of influence on the film. They certainly found a writer/director with a suitable name to tie in with their image – James DeMonaco, for whom this is his second time behind the camera, though he has notable previous writing credits with ‘The Negotiator’(98) and ‘Assault on Precinct 13’(05).

Fast & Furious 6  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                     130 Min        12A

For a quick recap, this is the latest in The Fast and the Furious franchise, following on from ‘The Fast and the Furious’ (01), ‘2 Fast 2 Furious’ (03), ‘The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift’ (06), ‘Fast and Furious’ (09), and ‘Fast Five’ in 2011, all of which possibly makes this the worst named film franchise in history, so much so the marketing campaign for this instalment included a fan based vote on what to actually name the new one, and it seems the fans have a bit more common sense than the previous lot’s producers.

It’s primarily set in London, with the film imagined as a sort of bridge between the series focusing on underground racers and becoming an action platform that simply has fast cars, hot girls (including the quite stunning Gal Gadot, Miss Israel 2004, and Gina Carano, the mixed martial artist that went on an ass kicking rampage in Steven Soderbergh’s ‘Haywire’ two years ago) and many, many cheesy one-liners – most often courtesy of Dwayne Johnson’s returning character, Luke Hobbs. Here we see a team up between Hobbs and Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto, as their combined forces are required to take down a highly skilled team of heist drivers led by Welshman Luke Evans (who played Zeus in ‘Immortals’, and will appear as the hero Bard in the forthcoming Hobbit films) and just maybe save an old colleague they had previously given up for dead in the process.

It starts off promisingly, with tight action from director Justin Lin (who helmed no’s 3,4 & 5), but eventually it just becomes too far fetched, and with a lot of the sequences taking place at night it’s visually a little tiresome and repetitive to watch. It also suffers massively from predictability in terms of dialogue, story, and what will happen to most of the characters, and has been to no mean degree ruined by advertising a huge ten minute or so segment of the film with the trailers shown before other previous big name releases – certain screenings of ‘Star Trek – Into Darkness’ and I think ‘Iron Man Three’. I’d already seen the same footage three times prior to seeing it in the actual film, and other frequent film goers will doubtless have the same reaction of ‘Argh not this bit again!’, especially as it comes toward the climax of the film, a climax also featured in some of the film’s normal trailers.

One of the best bits actually appears at the very end – after a screenshot of text warning people not to try any of the stunts they’ve seen at home, a tad unnecessary really, the story continues and sets up the next film, tentatively entitled ‘Fast & Furious 7’, with a surprise appearance from someone you might just recognise… Some of the shoots took place in Glasgow doubling as London (though filming took place there too whilst the Olympics were on) something which prompted Vin Diesel to state his claim to Scottish heritage and that one of his ancestors, he won’t say who, is in fact buried at the mysterious Rosslyn Chapel (the one from ‘The Da Vinci Code’). An interesting bit of trivia, but, whether or not it’s accurate, what isn’t in doubt is that he has been confirmed as the person to play Kojak in the planned big screen adaptation of the titular detective’s crime stopping antics, ironic as he used to watch Telly Savalas (the original Kojak) coming in and out of the building he grew up in whilst they were filming the tv series in his neighbourhood of New York City.

Dead Man Down  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                     118 Min        15

There is a lot of promise shown throughout this film, almost like a shadow haunting it as it fights to try and conform to humdrum banality, a fight that it disappointingly wins. Colin Farrell is a member of Terrence Howard’s gang of miscreants, but someone is out to sever the leader’s head, someone who keeps sending clues to his identity, mysterious notes, and a trail of criminal corpses. Enter the girl, not quite next door, but across the chasm between their high rise buildings, played by Noomi Rapace, who has evidently been checking out Farrell through the window in unguarded moments and eventually plucks up the courage to introduce herself, but she has a story of her own too.

The central focus of this film is revenge, and it almost deals with it in a serious manner, but it winds unerringly down into pointless cliché. Rapace gives a strongly believable performance – we are told her character has had part of her face rebuilt after a car crash, and there is certainly a very visible scar, only it’s really not that extreme for the sort of surgery she’s describing, she still looks good really, and one can’t help but feel that it could possibly be concealed with make-up if she so chose. A more original, tougher treatment with the same cast could have been something more worthwhile watching.

Texas Chainsaw 3D  (2013)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                       92 Min        18

This is the latest offering in ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ franchise. In fact, it’s the seventh film of the lot after the original from 1974, then ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2’ (86), ‘Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3’ (90), ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation’ (94), ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ a 2003 remake of the original starring Jessica Biel, and ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning’ (06) a prequel to that remake. This version goes all the way back to the original film and follows on with the immediate aftermath to the events that unfolded in the town of Newt, Texas. There’s been a little more of an effort made with the story here, certainly compared to the other two modern instalments, and a degree of sympathy has been put into the narrative which is new. You can be sure though, that the owners of the franchise were not going to miss out on the money making machine 3D has gifted producers with, and they are far from the first horror filmmakers to be milking the new tech with its higher cinema ticket prices.

With that in mind a lot of what follows in the film is true to previous form, with a group of ridiculously good looking teens throwing themselves into every obstacle in their path in order to satisfy the audience’s gore fetish, including the rather phallic weapon of choice of everyone’s favourite country bumpkin: ‘Leatherface’. Lead actress Alexandra Daddario (‘Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief’ 10) certainly has a body to die for, and the camera has no qualms about showing it off as much as possible. Scott Eastwood, Clint Eastwood’s son, also stars as the local town sheriff. Very much an example of horror porn rather than torture porn (the likes of ‘Hostel’ 05 and so on where the emphasis is on the intricacies of the actual mutilation) and not too bad for what it is, decent enough if you’re just in the mood for a late night slasher.

The Possession  (2012)    60/100

Rating :   60/100                                                                       92 Min        15

This is very much a standard exorcism film, which is decent in its own right but brings nothing new to the table at all. It’s not as scary as the new wave of horror films that have followed in the footsteps of ‘Paranormal activity’ (07), and it doesn’t have as many jumps as the likes of ‘The Woman in Black’ (12), but it does have a little more in the way of narrative in the guise of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s Clyde, the recently separated father of two young girls, one of whom is about to discover a strange old box…..

Chain Reaction  (1996)    60/100

Rating :  60/100                                                                      107 Min        12A

A fairly decent action adventure film, very much in the same mould as much of its nineties contemporaries. There’s nothing special here, but going in with no expectations it’s a fairly easy way to spend a couple of hours. When an enterprising group of scientists find a way to create free energy certain industry insiders take exception to the progress of science and mankind in general, forcing young mechanic Keannu Reaves, and an extremely cute award winning physicist Rachel Weisz (circa twenty five here), to deal with the consequences.

Morgan Freeman, Kevin Dunn (the dad in ‘Transformers’), Fred Ward (the one who is isn’t Kevin Bacon in ‘Tremors’) and Dundee born Brian Cox (who, along with Alan Cumming, was one of two actors who joined Scottish first minister Alex Salmond at Cineworld Edinburgh to launch the campaign for Scottish independence recently) round out the rest of the main cast, with the latter establishing his earmark of power hungry secret organisation heads (there’s also a brief scene with a young Michael Shannon in the guise of a florist). An action film build around a premise which could one day in the near future become a reality – indeed, for some real world big business holding back mankind shenanigans watch ‘Who Killed the Electric car’ (06), a fascinating documentary and a good starting point for a story which is ongoing today.