Diplomacy   (Board Game)    93/100

Rating :   93/100

Diplomacy. There are few other games more likely to see a group of civilised, well mannered, Homo sapiens devolve into a murder of squawking scurrilous beasts, at one another’s throats over who promised who control of The English Channel, which coast of Spain was supposed to have been written down, and the various meretricious long term benefits of the temporary and unexpected secession from a trusted alliance and, unfortunately, sometimes real world relationship. Once touted as the favourite, or perhaps favorite, game of both John F. Kennedy and Henry Kissinger, and no doubt many other diplomats since its first release in 1959, ‘Diplomacy’ has treachery as a major component part of its gameplay and it is often used, though not strictly necessary, to achieve victory.

The simplest way to think of the game is; if you like strategy games, then you will love this. Conversely, if you don’t like them then you probably won’t enjoy playing it – though there may be an exception to this rule depending on the style in which you do so. The board is based on Europe shortly before the outbreak of World War I, although the setting begins in 1901, and you take control of the armies and fleets of one of the ruling powers of the day. The objective is to take over as many supply centres on the board as you can until more than half of them are yours, and the number of troops you have is determined in equal measure by the number of centres you control. This in itself doesn’t make the game different from many others, what distinguishes it from the competition is that everyone makes their moves at the same time, and before revealing their orders there is always a round of diplomacy where players are encouraged to have secret, or open, discussion with one another and make, or break, alliances. Then, when everyone’s orders are revealed you find out just how well placed your confidences, or well oiled your machinations, were.

It really is a fantastic game, nerve wracking and exciting with plenty of scope for intricate plan making and deviancy, which is why if you are perhaps more into social interaction than spending hours around a board game working out all the permutations of possible moves, you could focus entirely on the diplomacy section as one’s people skills, or perhaps manipulation techniques, are every bit as important as your military tactics. Indeed, working in teams to combine the best of both worlds is to be encouraged. Players are welcome to play ‘gunboat’ diplomacy with no tactical communication between each other should they wish, and the simplistic rules, with only a few moves available for each piece (attack, support, hold, convoy), mean that it works as a fantastic pure strategy game, with no chance element (such as rolling dice or drawing cards) whatsoever. Similarly, there are guidelines for play with less than the full quotient of seven players.

‘Diplomacy’ is the brain child of Allan B. Calhamer, who came up with the idea whilst studying at Harvard university and had to finance the production of the first five hundred games himself, having been initially rejected by every publisher he approached. He sold all five hundred with relative ease, publishers were somewhat more welcoming afterward. Given Calhamer studied law, nineteenth-century European history, and political geography, it is a little disappointing to say the least that the political geography of the board looks like it was created by an uneducated school boy. Some of the regions have been geographically altered for the sake of game dynamics, but others are plain wrong, such as the United Kingdom being labelled England for example. The Red Dragon has deducted points for this. The rulebook has undergone several revisions over time, but it still could be written in a much clearer way, and with more, and indeed better, examples used throughout. Sometimes, since the idea is ultimately to win for yourself, it can feel like a negative experience – you know the alliances you make will probably end badly at some point. However, the cunning player can find ways around this, draws can be agreed upon by surviving players at any point, and the popularity of the game on the internet allows for the accruing of points per supply centre, and table rankings by points – so that as long as you gain something from your starting position you will still climb up the ladder, even if you don’t end up winning (you still have to survive until the end though).

Prior to the internet, ‘Diplomacy’ became the first commercially produced game to be played by mail, and its popularity continues to grow with several international competitions, including a world cup and world championship, and thousands of fan based (and a couple of official) variations published – check out the ‘Diplomacy’ wiki and the variant bank for a huge variety of different versions to try. In fact, ‘Diplomacy’ style rules were adopted for one of the earliest documented forms of both traditional and live action roleplaying – Slobbovia, played by post but ironically dying out just prior to the internet age that would have saved it. Playing ‘Diplomacy’ online also has the advantage of being able to choose how often to make a move, anything from once a few minutes to once a few weeks, but the disadvantage of not being able to try and read people through body language as the game goes on. There have been experimental attempts to create decent AI to represent missing players, but so far they have been universally easy to defeat and most online games, such as the server used on Facebook for example, require seven human players to sign in before the game will start, though play is anonymous via the adoption of usernames.

Easy to become obsessed with and, once again, if you are a fan of pure strategy, quite likely to end up taking pride of place on your games shelf. Make a point of emphasising to new people before you play that back stabbing is a perfectly legitimate part of the game and, hopefully, you will avoid the main pitfall of having players fall out over nothing, or everything depending on how in the moment they are. If you manage this, similarly encourage everyone to be creative with their style and, once everyone is familiar with the core game, with taking the rules and/or scenario to ever more interesting and rewarding levels.

For a look at the official rules click here.

Wonder Witches   (Android Game)    71/100

Rating :   71/100

‘Wonder Witches’ is an apt name for a lovely little android game currently available for free download from the Kindle app store, and Google Play for your pc. It hails from Johann Digital Works in Seattle, and the developer has stated it was a personal project worked on at weekends and evenings after his full time job, so it gets instant credit for that. The premise is for you to guide a series of witches on their broomsticks up and down vertically  by tapping and holding down the right hand side of the screen which then causes a boost to be injected into your wee witch on the far left of the screen as she desperately swoops and dives to avoid an increasingly difficult onslaught of birds, bats, randomised walls that appear, clouds that obscure your vision, light changes as day turns into night, and random scrolling speed fluctuations all designed to keep your intrepid teenage witch on her flighty aerial toes.

The ultimate goal is to reach the moon, though no one seems quite sure whether that is actually a possible goal, or if it just keeps on generating more obstacles. Having logged in around 12.7k points on easy in one sitting, I can confirm there is a little change, in that the wildlife disappears altogether, but there was no end in sight for the ever deadly series of walls (the graphics of which could really do with a lick of digital paint). The dynamics of the game are nothing new, but what makes it really appeal is the endearingly cute witch icons and the sound effects of them whizzing around, and indeed the fairly humorous crack and squeal as one of them nose dives into something. Speaking of ‘which’, the collision detection is excellent and even allows for an element of grace, so that when your hat or the bristles of the broom touch something it counts as a mere scuffle and you can continue your journey unabated. It is only really when the tip of your broom bashes into something that are you plummeted to an unknown fate on terra firma.

As you accrue points you unlock more witches to play with, each with their own broom and its special power that can be utilised by collecting special power icons – three per broom use. The icons are regular and easy enough to collect, best saving them for liberal use later on. Currently the final broom, ‘The Whizz’ is not available, and whereas mostly points and power ups are cumulative over games, the second last broom, ‘The Wunderbar’ no less, can only be unlocked by gaining 4000 points in one go. It’s quite fun once you get it, but the ‘Firestorm’ before it is much more useful when the going gets tough. There are three difficulty levels, easy, fun, and hard, and the difference between them has been well judged. A good way through to the Wunderbar would be to school it on easy where you don’t really need to use the power ups, then once you’ve unlocked the Firestorm you could play on easy or fun and just blow everything out of the way.

Initially this was pretty tiring for both the eyes and the right thumb, but after a warm up it’s easy to last a short while – repetitiveness sinks in after about fifteen to twenty minutes, but it’s still a great game to have stored on Kindle or your hard drive and it was pretty exciting unlocking the more difficult Wunderbar. It’s possible that there is a way to get to the moon, getting so many points in one sitting on hard with a certain broom maybe, but hopefully updates will flesh out the groundwork that has been done, and add The Whizz too of course.

Woohoooo!           (Witch clarion call)

This is 40  (2012)    70/100

Rating :   70/100                                                                     134 Min        15

The latest from producer/writer/director Judd Apatow focusing on two of his previous characters, specifically married couple Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) from 2007’s ‘Knocked Up’, as they both reach the milestone of their fortieth birthday. Their two daughters are played by Mann’s children with husband Apatow, namely Maude Apatow as hormonal teenager Sadie, and Iris Apatow, who is a bit of a scene stealer, as her much younger sister. Good use is made of Megan Fox in support, or perhaps more correctly, her body, as she is accompanied by Jason Segel, Chris O’Dowd and Melissa McCarthy, although each of these feature too briefly in a film that is the latest in a cinematic trend of movies that are fifteen to twenty minutes too long. Fans of the actors and director will certainly enjoy this, and the cast do bring the characters and story to life with relish, delivering a steady stream of pretty decent comedy.

Altogether they pull off the film, but the drama behind the story, supposedly focusing on a couple going through difficult times triggered by money issues and the passage of time, doesn’t really work for several reasons. Firstly, Leslie Mann could easily pass for someone ten years younger (she is actually forty in real life) and comparing her body to that of Megan Fox, as her character does in the film, isn’t really fair, although even Fox has reputedly had at least a slight nose alteration since her rise to fame with ‘Transformers’ in 2007. Debbie constantly has a go at Pete for eating cupcakes and we suppose his increasing weight is putting a ‘strain’ on their relationship, and yet he seems to do a lot of fairly serious cycling and looks quite fit in general. There are a lot of relationship issues thrown together over a very short time frame, and it gets particularly overdone, repetitive and messy toward the end, but overall it doesn’t detract too much from it being an enjoyable film. Stay through some of the credits at the end for a great outtake scene with Melissa McCarthy too.

A Good Day to Die Hard  (2013)    65/100

Rating :   65/100                                                                       98 Min        12A

Bruce Willis reprises the role of John McClane that made him officially a movie star way back in 1988 with the original ‘Die Hard’, a movie that set the benchmark for every action film made ever since and became a Christmas/family tradition to watch every year (partly because it’s set at, and aired, every Christmas, and also partly due to a similar tradition set by Joey and Chandler in ‘Friends’).  The original film was followed by ‘Die Hard 2: Die Harder’ 1990, ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’ 95, and ‘Die Hard 4.0/Live Free or Die Hard’ (also the state motto of New Hampshire incidentally – minus the ‘Hard’ part of course) 07.  All four of the previous films were worthy additions to the canon, featuring the world’s hardest cop vs. money grabbing pseudo terrorists, but what of the fifth one?  Well, it’s a lot more action focused than even its predecessors, and with a relatively short running time a lot of that action is extremely tightly cut, making it quite fast paced but also at times difficult to make out what’s going on.  Perhaps especially true during a huge car chase sequence which is otherwise packed full of impressive stunts, but is mostly reduced to a visual blur and a series of loud metallic crunches.  For a sequence that took weeks of filming, all the effort put into it deserved a better final product.  Similarly there’s a scene where Bruce Willis’ hands go from being tied to being free to beat the hell out of the bad guy, and I guess you’re supposed to assume he unties himself offscreen somehow, but there’s a constant thread of unbelievability throughout the action sequences, and one of the things that made the previous films a success was that even though they were, quite literally, over the top, efforts were made to make it seem plausible.

A plot does exist here, but so much emphasis is placed on the action that it’s been degraded in the process.  John McClane’s kids are alluded to in ‘Die Hard’, but whereas the introduction of his daughter worked with the great story in the fourth instalment, here the appearance of his son, played by Australian actor Jai Courtney (the bad guy in ‘Jack Reacher’), feels a little tawdry and allows for more than one overly cheesy moment, and although the always lovely Mary Elizabeth Winstead appears briefly as the daughter again, she only has about thirty seconds or less screen time.  If they are grooming Jai to take over the franchise they may be in for trouble as although he has the physique of an action star, he is so far lacking the onscreen charisma that would be needed for the role, in a similar way to the general reception of Indy’s son Mutt in the last Indiana Jones film.  The action all takes place in Russia, the latest in a list of Hollywood films to do so (‘Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol’, ‘Chernobyl Diaries’, ‘The Darkest Hour’, a tiny bit of the last Transformers movie), although it was filmed in Hungary, and anyone who has played ‘Call of Duty’ will see some very familiar scenes in Chernobyl.  Indeed, one can easily imagine the filmmakers sitting playing the game and having a ‘brainwave’, “Hey I know, let’s put John McClane in Chernobyl and have him blow the shit out of it!”.  Hmm.  The game is actually more realistic than the film, with radiation treated as a minor irritation to fitting Chernobyl into the story.

Despite all this, The Red Dragon still gained some nostalgic pleasure from investing in another Die Hard film, but alas it is a mar on a franchise that had thus far put paid to the widely, and falsely, held notion that sequels only dilute the original.  It was a great idea to release the film on Valentine’s Day, but an extremely questionable one to pick a director and a writer (John Moore and Skip Woods respectively) with only a small number of ok-ish films under their belt, including video game adaptations for each of them.  It seems that British audiences have been treated with the disdain of being given a heavily cut version so that the film can have a 12A rating (it’s rated R in the states), which is absolutely disgraceful.  The fact that the director has already started working on his director’s cut suggests he is far from happy with the released version on either side of the Atlantic, and we can hopefully expect to see a better one appearing on dvd in the future.  Good to see the continuation of some of the music from the other films, and indeed a classy Rolling Stones song play over the credits at the end, one knew to The Red Dragon, and one that you can see the video for, featuring Noomi Rapace, below.  If Bruce Willis and company can make number six something special, then all will be forgiven.

Beautiful Creatures  (2013)    63/100

Rating :   63/100                                                                     124 Min        12A

The latest offering in the teen fantasy romance genre focuses on witches rather than vampires or werewolves, but retains many familiar elements; such as a young attractive female soon to be the centre of everyone’s attention, and pretty much bad news for everyone else in the middle of nowhere dead-end town where she is the newcomer, cue polarised clashes of good versus evil. It’s not too bad though, despite featuring nothing terribly original, and the leads played by Alice Englert (daughter of ‘The Piano’ 93 director Jane Campion) as Lena Duchannes, and Alden Ehrenreich as Ethan Wate are good enough to hold interest until the end, with Emma Thompson, Viola Davis, Jeremy Irons, and Emmy Rossum in support for extra gravitas and sex appeal.

It’s based on the 2009 book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, and in their universe curiously the female witches, unlike their male counterparts, do not get to choose whether or not they take the path of good or evil, but rather fate (represented here by the moon) chooses for them on their sixteenth birthday. An odd, pseudo sexist, splicing of age of consent and menstrual cycle, implying teenage girls are creatures of sanguine whimsy rather than will, although the main character is at least projected as vague counterpoint to that notion.

Magus Negus Magic   (Theatre)    73/100

Rating :   73/100

One day, as I was cheerfully negotiating the labyrinthine wynds of Edinburgh’s old town, I was approached by a tall dark figure asking if I wanted to see some magic. Unaware he was talking to The Red Dragon, and that he could have been INCINERATED AT ANY POINT if he failed to impress, he proceeded to unleash a barrage of close-up tricks with cards, coins, and elastic bands. Being no stranger to the dark arts of magic, I had to admit at being impressed by his illusion and conjuring skills, but also his enthusiasm and evident pleasure at entertaining. Magus Negus models himself on the magicians of the Victorian age, replete with top hat and tails, and indeed tries to infuse himself with the somewhat bygone gentlemanly spirit of that romantic age. He recently surpassed his one hundredth show and is currently working on a YouTube project to showcase some of his magic, and also the landscape and iconography of the city of Edinburgh – a city described by a BBC film crew I was once passing on a separate sunny afternoon as ‘one of the handsomest in Europe’.

The rating above represents the quality of his work that I’ve seen, and also the effort he puts into making his magic a pleasant and friendly experience for strangers rather than a case of bombastic showmanship, something for which he should be rewarded. One of his clips is below, and you can see the rest on his YouTube channel. Or, perhaps, you may be able to find him canvassing the streets of Scotland’s capital….

(for magic related films see ‘The Prestige’ 06, both versions of ‘The Illusionist’ 06 & 10 {the latter of which is an animation about a magician in Edinburgh no less}, and, most certainly, Ingmar Bergman’s ‘The Magician’ 58)

Coffee and Cigarettes  (2003)    71/100

Rating :   71/100                                                                       95 Min        15

O my goodness, this film features one of THE most beautiful actresses of all time, and as exciting a discovery as this was to make, it is matched in complete and absolute equal measure by the irritation of realising this is pretty much the only film she actually appears in! Aaaargh! Was it a drug-fuelled mirage on my part (I had consumed quite a large amount of caffeine before the viewing – it seemed appropriate), or did some horrible fate befall her after filming, like marriage?? Her name is Renee French (possibly a stage name) should anyone out there posses the answer, and she features on the headline picture above. Her character appears in one of the eleven vignettes that together make up this film, as she sits sultrily flicking through a guns catalogue, a harsh juxtaposition with her elegant looks – think of Jennifer Aniston when she looked her very best, in one of the early seasons of friends before sun blasted emaciation became the fashion of the day, but then crank up the sex factor another notch.

Happily, the film itself is also quite good – each scene is shot with classy black and white cinematography and is linked in some way to the theme of coffee and cigarettes, though writer and director, Jim Jarmusch, is at pains to show he’s not necessarily pro-smoking. Every section has a vein of comedy, and at times contemplation, with a long list of actors and musicians involved; Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Iggy Pop, Steve Coogan, to name but a few, and some had an input on the script as well. It was shot over a time span of two decades, and some of the scenes appeared as previously released short films before being collated into the final piece.

The two elements of the film’s title present a perfect ambivalence for The Red Dragon, loving one and abhorring the other. No matter what your opinion of them, don’t be put off as they exist as a fairly neutral linking artifice. It would, however, be fascinating if someone were to make a documentary exploring the use of smoking in the movies and its evolution with social trends and medical knowledge. The Red Dragon firmly believes the movie industry has a lot to answer for in terms of knowingly encouraging the youth of every generation to take up smoking and, despite the aforementioned sexual allure of Ms French, in real life there are few things less sexy than someone looking to desperately light up a fag, or uncaringly blowing their foul ash into your lungs as you are walking behind them.

Eventually, humankind will look back and laugh at the stupidity of their ancestors, smoking having long since been completely banned (I believe one dictator in central Asia has already done this), unless, perhaps, they are all fans of film noir. Check out ‘The Insider’ (99) and ‘Thank you for Smoking’ (05) for films that deal with the smoking industry as a central theme.

Sammy’s Great Escape / Sammy 2  (2012)    67/100

Rating :   67/100                                                                       92 Min        U

This is the sequel to 2010’s ‘A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventures’, an English language Belgian production aimed at younger children. It’s pretty good all in all, with a vibrant and colourful underwater world where the scene stealing characters are, as always, the penguin chicks, although they don’t feature very much. Surprisingly, this is one of the best uses of 3D I’ve seen, and although it still lacks a bit of visual clarity (always difficult to tell if that is the result of post-production work, or an inherent problem with the technology) the swirling environment with characters floating around everywhere lends itself very well to the medium. The story follows Sammy and Ray, now grandfathers, and two of their grandchildren as they try to get back to their home, having been ousted from it by a gang of evil human fishermen.

There is a nod to ‘The Little Mermaid’ (89) with two of the bad guy’s ‘heavies’ appearing in the guise of eels, but here rather than having everyone erupt happily into song, Jimi Hendrix’s version of ‘All Along the Watchtower’ rings out as the captured fish start to fight each other over the food the humans give to them, aiding the message of the film that keeping any creature in captivity is a bad thing. More effort and thought has been put into this than a lot of the 3D fare that is being churned out of Hollywood at the moment, though some young children may find some of the less aesthetically appealing sea creatures a little frightening – there were a few squeals as the protagonists’ friend to be, a schizophrenic lobster, is introduced, replete with eyes rolling in different directions and claws clamping out of the screen toward the audience, though eventually everyone settled down, having seemingly gotten used to the weird variety. Seeing as the heroes of the tale are turtles, I guess there’s no reason they can’t have a third film with their next generation of offspring…

Warm Bodies  (2013)    33/100

Rating :   33/100                                                                       98 Min        12A

A classic tale of undead zombie falls in love with young pretty lass, but still has to win over her father (John Malkovich) before they’ll have peace. The problem is, it’s very much a one trick pony, and once the slight amusement of the premise has passed there is nothing particularly funny or interesting left in the rest of the film. It’s mainly the fault of the director and screenwriter (the same person in this case – Jonathan Levine) and less so of the actors who do OK with what they have. The would-be Romeo and Juliet (who can’t resist aping the star-crossed lovers’ balcony scene) are played by zombie Nicholas Hoult (‘A Single Man’ 09) and not-zombie Teresa Palmer (‘I am number four’ 11), who almost looks and sounds like someone has mashed together bits of Amanda Seyfried and Kristen Stewart, an interesting combination …

The film also has an inherent problem in that the leading male character can’t speak properly. It does, though, at least have a pretty good soundtrack, but it even repeatedly succeeds in garbling that, cutting off songs like ‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’ by Scorpions before they’ve even started – if you’re going to sacrifice a decent story and script for good music AT LEAST PLAY THE SONG! If you really want to see a zombie romcom then forget this and watch ‘Shaun of the Dead’ (04) instead.  SPOILER ALERT (though I’m sure you will see it coming a mile off anyway) to make matters worse, their cross-species love saves all of zombiekind who start to become more human again. Bleurggghhh.

Hitchcock  (2012)    72/100

Rating :   72/100                                                                       98 Min        12A

Threading a delicate and careful tapestry of the two main characters and their relationship, ‘Hitchcock’ gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the making of one of the most famous horror films of all time, ‘Psycho’ (60), and an insight into what it may have been like for its even more famous director, Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins), and his wife and longtime collaborator Alma (Helen Mirren). Both lead actors do a very fine job, with Hopkins in particular really seeming to relax into the role although his accent falls perhaps halfway between that of Hitchcock and his own. The film plays with the various myths and legends, idiosyncrasies and potential problems, passions and seeds of future sorrows that surrounded the latter part of the life of the director and, in particular, his last fistful of films, a few of which – ‘Psycho’, ‘The Birds’ (63), ‘Marnie’ (64), and in my opinion ‘Frenzy’ (72), have surpassed the test of time to enter into the annals of movie legend, and are studied religiously in film schools the world over.

Danny Huston is in support, with Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel playing Janet Leigh and Vera Miles respectively, though neither of the modern day leading ladies are given much to do here other than look pretty, a task which certainly falls well within their artistic purview. During the narrative, small hooks are tied to the real-life killings that ‘Psycho’ was based on, with the killer Ed Gein being played by Michael Wincott (who also portrayed the killer in 2001’s ‘Along came a Spider’), indeed the whole film is based on the 1990 factual novel ‘Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho’ by Stephen Rebello. The release of the movie coincides with a made-for-TV film, ‘The Girl’, which focused on the making of ‘The Birds’ & ‘Marnie’ and Hitchcock’s relationship with the star of both those films, Tippi Hedren. As to who plays the role of Hitchcock better, Hopkins or Toby Jones in ‘The Girl’, that is a pretty tough call to make, and though the differences in budget do make for a more slick final product with ‘Hitchcock’, as you would expect, it arguably also makes for a slightly safer one.

The two films together make excellent companion pieces and any fan of the director, or of film history, would do well to watch both of them, back to back if possible, with ‘Hitchcock’ sequentially first. And then watch his films again of course….