The premise to this is a now familiar set up within scenario based horror films – a bunch of explorers and scientists explore a virgin cave system in Romania, and then it all goes to pot. In this instance the kicker is that stories of legend place titanic battles of knights versus satanic forces there – could there be any truth in this ancient legend as one by one the young adventurers fall foul of the labyrinthine tunnels?
The core problem with this particular outing is simply that it fails to create any real sense of tension, which combined with poor special effects and, for some of the cast, less than award winning acting (significantly less) results in a horror film which is conceptually fine but one that’s all too relaxing to watch. Lena Headey is the biggest name to feature here (with Piper Perabo and Morris Chestnut the two next most recognisable faces), and the screenplay makes sure to find reason to get her into a wetsuit and then unzip it to reveal her cleavage which is both a little groan worthy and at the same time I’m glad they did it (because otherwise her character would have died in that scene, obviously). Watching a film purely because you really fancy one of the main cast members doesn’t always pay dividends, but I still kind of enjoyed this on some level – although there are certainly better out there with a similar story – Neil Marshall’s ‘The Descent’ (05) and ‘Sanctum’ (11) for example. If you do see this, look out for the character (played by Perabo) who does the lion’s share of heroics but gets completely minced anyway, whilst everyone else just watches.
Goodness. This is one of those films with big name stars and a huge amount of advertising behind it – all but ensuring its success despite the fact it is beyond abysmal, as the sending of Sandra Bullock into space seems to augur the destruction of pretty much every man made object orbiting the planet and we spend most of the film watching her flailing her arms around helplessly screaming ‘What do I do?! What do I do?!’. In fact, I’m surprised the moon managed to survive and wasn’t somehow thrown out of its orbit by her endless mewling.
The film opens with Bullock busying herself attaching something to the Hubble Space Telescope (which, naturally, she will represent the harbinger of doom for very quickly). We learn that NASA have sent her up there after a mere six months training (the ill fated monkeys they sent into space probably had more prep time) – the reason being she has developed some kind of new instrument for scanning deep space, despite the fact she tells us before this she worked in a hospital and it was developed for use there. Clearly, NASA did not have another astronaut capable of plugging the thing in – certainly not if her pilot George Clooney is anything to go by, whom we see whizzing by playing with his jetpack and listening to country music while she’s attaching her array. As if. One malfunction and that’s you off into deep space pal, no more “Whee Whee! Look at me I’m George Clooney!”
Having thus scuppered any pretence at realism, moments into the film we learn that Russia have missiled one of their defunct satellites which sets off a ‘chain reaction’ of debris (with the high energies involved, and the amount of things in orbit, space debris is a real danger for astronauts and the idea of a chain reaction creating more and more of the stuff has been theorised by the Kessler syndrome since the late seventies). Unfortunately for our intrepid space walkers, and their token Indian comrade, this creates a large amount of orbiting missile objects – which, despite these satellites being spread around in different orbits (and despite the lack of any coherency from what mission control are saying {which sees Ed Harris reprise his previous role from ‘Apollo 13’ before the comms go down} or indeed the lack of any visible missile going off or for that matter the feasibility of one being fired in the first place), has somehow resulted in all the debris arriving together to form one gigantic MONSTER which also just so happens to be in the exact correct path to annihilate everything else that we the human race have put into space, albeit with a little help from Sandra Bullock. Queue lots of arms flapping hopelessly around for the next hour and a half, occasionally interjected with a smug anecdote from Clooney.
The visuals of the Earth are very nice, but they are ruined by the camera spinning around constantly to the point of excess, nauseating the audience if they happen to find the Earth more interesting to look at than the principal leads. The physics never rings true, the dialogue is tragically bad, it never really feels like they’re in space and there’s even a disgustingly grotesque attempt to have Bullock float around and mimic a sort of embryo with various cords floating around her, as if director Alfonso Cuarón (‘Y Tu Mamá También’ 01, ‘Children of Men’ 06) thinks he’s Stanley Kubric. A film chock-full of stupidity from beginning to end with cringe worthy tension at best – even has Bullock running out of oxygen and Clooney decide to engage her in conversation, burning even more oxygen, plus they actually had a very obvious source of more oxygen that they completely ignored. One of the worst films for both actors – both ‘Batman & Robin’ (97) for Clooney and ‘All About Steve’ (09) for Bullock are more entertaining. Look out for the same floating pen that follows Bullock around no matter where she goes – also, the current televised ad for this film has some of John Murphy’s music playing in it: this music has nothing to do with the movie, but is in fact from Danny Boyle’s ‘Sunshine’ (07) which is ironically a much, much better science fiction film.
Predominantly set in a British RAF base of operations during World War II that sees the main characters continually fly sorties over German soil, and leaves us wondering who will make it back and also, due to the number of unlikely things going wrong together with certain lighting effects, who may be masquerading as someone they’re not. I decided to watch this when I realised the lead is played by Dirk Bogard and it occurred to me that I was not entirely certain I could immediately put his name to a face (he is pictured above, along with Dinah Sheridan – who actually just passed away only last year). The comedic ‘Doctor’ series immediately sprung to mind once it started of course (of which he starred in four of the seven films, with Leslie Phillips eventually replacing him) and he carries a definite kind of instant onscreen sympathy and likeability, certainly for his character here who has just achieved his 87th sortie – but will he make it to his final 90th?
The film is successful in putting us inside events on the ground, but less so when it introduces the female character, appropriately called Mrs Canyons, that two of the males will fight over, namely Bogarde’s Tim Mason and William Sylvester’s cocksure ‘Mac’ Baker (he comes across very much like an American 1950’s Clive Owen), and some of the tension in the aerial missions feels somewhat neutered with the way it’s been filmed. The title comes from a future appointment in the capital that some of the pilots hope to be alive to make it to – they do actually explain what the meeting is for, but sometimes I find when everyone is speaking with classic celluloid RAF accents they end up sounding a little like competing chipmunks, and The Red Dragon couldn’t quite make out the details… It doesn’t matter anyway as they all die.
That previous statement is inaccurate. A decent war drama that unfortunately had a few drawbacks preventing it from ever really entering into the hallowed halls of classic British war films, but definitely worth a look in for fans of the genre. Raiders in the Sky is the U.S. version of the title, and interestingly the character of Mason seems to have been based on the ‘Dambusters’ leader Guy Gibson whom co-screenwriter John Wooldridge had served under in the No. 106 Squadron RAF. Wooldridge himself not only successfully completed over ninety sorties, but also set a new record time for crossing the Atlantic, from Labrador to London, of circa 5hrs 46 mins in 1944. He also conducted and scored the music for this film as part of a successful career as a film composer, before tragically being killed in a car accident in 1958 when he was only thirty nine.
As a Metallica fan I thought I’d give this a whirl. It’s a documentary following brother and sister Will and Kate Spicer’s attempt to facilitate the meeting of middle sibling in the family, Fragile X syndrome sufferer Tom, with the person he admires the most in the whole world – Lars Ulrich, drummer and co-founder, along with James Hetfield, of hard rock band Metallica. We get some insights about Fragile X from the parents, Tom’s carer and an expert in the field that they interview, and we learn that some of the things that people with the condition find difficult are changes to their normal routine and loud noises. So, as the siblings conclude half way through, dragging him half way across the world to Metallica concerts in Vegas, Sacramento and Anaheim on the last leg of their world tour, was perhaps not the most ideal way to spend more time with him. Especially not when they add filming him constantly into the mix.
Up until this point, it is very difficult to come close to understanding the other siblings let alone like them (Tom is much more agreeable), and it does beg the question of ‘Ok so you’ve decided to give this a try, but why make it into a documentary?’. We learn that Will is an amateur filmmaker, does this justify the project? Or just make it all the more exploitative? I suppose having cameras around may help sell their idea on the road …
Without giving away what happens, although I did want to see the film through to the end it just really isn’t altogether that interesting. In fact, it’s been filmed in a very cold, clinical manner that detaches the audience to a degree and not enough effort has been made to be either original nor to incorporate much in the way of music or information about Metallica (or indeed terrifically much about Tom and his condition) . Perhaps they were a little miserly when it came to the rights to use their tunes …
Be prepared for this film to make you very angry – not because it is faulty in any way, but because the true story it’s based on, and the way central character Philomena Lee is treated (by the Catholic church, shock, horror), is ghastly, inhumane, and sadly perhaps all too common for girls in her situation at the time concerned – as an effective prisoner in a convent in Ireland forced to watch as her child is given away to a wealthy family for adoption against her will. The film catches up with Philomena (Judi Dench) as an old woman in the present day who has been searching for her son her whole life, when a daughter from a later relationship introduces her to Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan – who co-wrote the screenplay along with Jeff Pope, adapting the story from Sixsmith’s novel ‘The Lost Child of Philomena Lee’), a journalist recently made redundant and who, being at a loose end, decides to investigate the case for Philomena and to write an article about the experience for publication.
Here, mixed in with the relation of real events, we find the traditional story arc of Sixsmith from jaded snoot only really interested in getting something into print, to the emotionally involved fighter in Philomena’s corner, and Coogan successfully manages the balancing act of introducing some ameliorating comedy and lightheartedness to the tough storyline. Dench’s Irish accent is one moment spot on, the next wavering, and then it’ll disappear completely, but vocal misgivings aside both leads give very good performances with a script that works overall, is well directed by Stephen Frears (‘Dangerous Liaisons’ 88, ‘High Fidelity’ 00, ‘The Queen’ 06) and a story that is sure to leave its mark on the audience. See ‘Oranges and Sunshine’ (10) for an even more brutal and heart wrenching tale on similar themes, and also the original ‘Bad Lieutenant’ (92) with Harvey Keitel for a similar contrast between the victim and the sympathiser.
The latest Marvel adventure and the second solo film for the heir to the throne of Asgard, just over a year after his Mjolnir wielding antics in New York with ‘Avengers Assemble’. The graphic work is rich and colourful with the continued glamour of the home of the Norse gods of legend featuring heavily, as an ancient and forgotten evil, the dark Elves, reawakens and threatens to cover all of the nine realms (which includes ours incidentally) in eternal darkness, and only Chris Hemsworth (Thor) and Natalie Portman (Thor’s astrophysicist lover when he isn’t busy thumping things with his hammer) can stop them pesky Elves. But at what cost to Earth, Asgard and Thor’s sex life?
All the cast from the previous adventure return to reprise their roles – including Tom Hiddleston as Loki, the likeable supervillain predominantly equipped with one-liners, and Anthony Hopkins as Odin himself (I’m sure he has a line ‘Odin be praised’ in ‘Beowulf’ coincidentally). Initially, the film exhibits a lot of action and proceeds at a decent pace, but there is the distinct air of having seen such fare many times over in Marvel and other recent films and some of the characters, namely the scientists, are decidedly carefree upon discovering an inter dimensional portal (though I must admit, The Red Dragon does find the idea of Natalie Portman solving differential equations somewhat … exciting) but it isn’t too long before the story becomes more engaging, and Marvel once again display their trademark of visually remarkable set pieces with a solid helping of good comedy.
Another comic book adaptation to potentially enjoy more than once – be sure to stay for not just the first post credits scene, but also the second post credits scene which appears right at the very end (the wait is not terribly long for it though). Helmed by veteran TV director Alan Taylor (‘Game of Thrones’, ‘The Sopranos’ – also due to take charge of the Terminator reboot in 2015) watch out for the mention of Asgard Productions in the rolling credits too …
Press interview with the cast followed by one of the B rolls showing off the location shots in London, Surrey and Iceland:
The sequel to 2009’s ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ which despite very much flying under the radar was a really great film, making it onto several lists of the ‘top 50 animations of all time’ I’ve seen published since (like this one). The next instalment begins with the clean up operation of central character Flint Lockwood’s home island, after the inventor last time around peppered the area with super sized food dripping from the heavens courtesy of one of his more bananas, and yet genius, schemes (thus the title, and his pearing up with saucy meteorologist Sam Sparks). Enter traditional bad guy and cereal capitalist Chester V who intends to use Flint’s invention to steak a claim on his own evil food bar empire – all via the Foodbar 8.0, the only problem is he was Flint’s childhood inventing idol when he was growing up, will that boyish admiration be left in tatters?
Chester and his company Live Corp are a not too subtle parody of Apple (and the latte Steve Jobs, who also co-founded animation giant Pixar {Cloudy is from Sony Pictures Animation}) – which not only fits thematically but is arguably comedic with shadier undertones for a company currantly sandwiched between tax avoidance scandals and a price rigging pickle, not to mention their support for SOPA and PIPA… All satire aside though, Chester is one of the weaker ingredients in the film, and he comes across as fairly creepy – more akin to something out of South Park than the loveable creatures Cloudy normally serves up. Indeed, the visual richness and appeal of the animation, and the filmmakers sense of humour, is really where these films stand out – the creation at Live Corp of a zero emission car that runs on ‘cute’, for example, and the shot of the tank being opened up to uncover a cuddly sort of kitten squashed into it – but full of beans and happily purring away, its huge eyes gazing lovingly up at the driver. Nice.
Despite Chester V, Flint becoming a little too weak for a central character, and an over reliance on monkey jokes via his close friend Steve (who is indeed a monkey) eventually the film comes into its own with a wonderful story arc that sees all the food from the previous film literally come to life Jurassic Park style, allowing the animators to really put their creativity to the test – generating a visual feast for the eyes. Flint returns to the island to get to the root of the problem, along with several of the characters from the first film – his father, Sam Sparks, Manny, Brent and of course Steve, but on their adventure they encounter a new companion, Barry, the next stage in culinary evolution (pictured above, with their first meeting below) who turns out to be one of the best helpings of the series, and I think I speak for all the adults in the audience when I say – I WANT A MOTHER FUCKING TALKING STRAWBERRY THAT HIDES IN MY BACKPACK AND SAYS ‘MOOOOOOO?’!!!
Despite the film’s early weaknesses and the slight leekage of interest, I’d still fallen in love with it come the end, and judging by all the young sprouts in the audience running around dancing at the end credits, they relished it even more than I did. Bill Hader stars as Flint, with Anna Farris (who sizzles perfectly in the role) as Sparks, and James Caan, Will Forte, Andy Samberg, Ben jam in Bratt, Terry Crews (replacing Mr Tea) and Neil Patrick Harris rounding out the rest of the support. There is a brief post credits scene too. Mooooooooo?
